


Day's in December

by conn8d



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-21 14:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson, April, their family and a kind of adorably chaotic Christmas. Follow up to Ripple Effect and All That You Have. Inspired by a tumblr prompt. Mainly Japril, but other characters will appear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:_

_A partridge in a pear tree._

Jackson sighed as he and Alex Karev haphazardly wandered around the booths of Pike's Place Market. Simon held his hand and bounded along side the two men, walking awkwardly as he tried to only step on the green tiles on the floor beneath them, having decided to pretend that all the other tiles were lava.

His older kids were still in school, but Simon's kindergarten only went for a half day. Since Jackson had the shift off from the hospital, he saw no reason why the little boy couldn't have a day off from after school daycare. He'd decided to take the opportunity to do a little Christmas browsing, and Karev was joining them on his lunch break.

"Why are chicks so hard to shop for?" Alex grumbled, picking up a wood carved space needle, eyeing the object suspiciously.

"I don't know," Jackson shrugged, picking up a homemade scented candle. It was the same conversation every year each time the two men tried to shop together. He was pretty sure that Karev really just liked to complain.

"At least you don't shop only for chicks..." Alex moaned, rolling his eyes toward Simon as the boy carefully hopped on the floor tiles.

"Oh yeah, because it is so much easier choosing presents for 5 people instead of just 2," Jackson quipped. He had April and his four kids to shop for, whereas Alex had only Lisa and Megan. It wasn't rocket science.

"I mean," the pediatric surgeon continued, ignoring Jackson's comment and wrinkling his nose at a particularly fuzzy set of slippers in the next booth. "What on earth does a 13 year old girl want anyway? It was so much easier to shop when she was little."

"You could just try asking her what she wants." Logic.

"Oh yeah, Megan's gonna take that as a carte blanche," Alex snorted, moving to a stand filled with postcards and beginning to flip through the selection. "I can hear it now. She'll ask for the latest boy band crap, glitter, or a freaking pony."

Jackson rolled his eyes and shook his head, "She doesn't want a pony."

He knew Megan Karev. Alex knew his daughter, or at least he should.

Megan Karev was not a pony sort of girl.

"Chicks want ponies," Alex frowned, fidgeting with other nick knacks at the booth.

Jackson could understand Alex's fear. He just wanted to make sure he got his family stuff that would make them happy. In all the years, they'd known each other, that was all Alex wanted. He just was nervous that he couldn't do it. And that totally made sense. The whole ' having daughters thing' was still a little terrifying. As a father, disappointing them was just not an option.

He tried to reassure his friend, "No one wants a pony."

"I want a pony!" Simon piped up, suddenly paying attention to the conversation and looking up at the two adults.

Alex cleared his throat, and Jackson shook his head. They both replied, "No. You don't."

"Why?"

"Dudes want horses," Alex explained. "Chicks want ponies."

Simon scowled, "Why?"

"That's just how it is..." Jackson shrugged. Not the best answer, but now was really not the time to get into things. Besides, Alex was probably wrong. Who's to say a man couldn't want a pony? At least...in theory anyway. Still, he didn't really want his son to want one.

"Can I have a horse?"

"Uh...well, we don't really have enough space for a horse..." Jackson fumbled.

"Trust me kiddo," Alex explained. "You don't want a horse. They crap too much."

Jackson didn't have time to reprimand his friend for swearing in front of his child before Simon demanded curiously, "More than puppies?"

"Yep," Alex nodded.

"More than kitties?"

"Oh yeah."

Simon wrinkled his nose, "That's yucky."

The man nodded and smirked at Jackson, "In a word."

Satisfied, Simon returned to hopping from green tile to green tile.

Alex moved on to another display, chuckling, "Dude, he's so-"

"If you call my son weird, I will knock you out!" Jackson snapped.

Yeah, so what if Simon could be a little chatter box? And yeah, he could be a little prone to tears. And he wasn't the strongest or fasted kid is his class. He just marched to the beat of his own drum was all. And he was only five.

Laughing harder, Karev held his hands up in surrender, "Avery, don't be so freaking sensitive. I was gonna say he was easy. At his age Megan woulda latched on to that and whined for weeks, just to spite us. Just because we said no. He's reasonable."

"Oh..." Jackson replied sheepishly. "Well, that just proves she is your kid then."

"Very funny..."

Alex picked up an overly bedazzled box and opened the lid, glancing back to Simon skeptically and inquiring, "If we do find stuff to buy, are we sure he isn't blab it around every where? 'Hey look, Ma, Dad got you a freaking paper weight.'"

"Nah," Jackson shook his head. "He's not a blabber...he talks a lot but he usually can keep a secret about presents."

Simon was not the tattle tail in his family. Conner? Yes. Riley? Maybe. Hannah? A lot of the time. But Simon was the youngest and it seemed he had picked up on the concept of gifts much earlier than the other kids had. Jackson had taken Simon on Christmas shopping trips since he was an infant. He knew where non-'Santa' presents came from and that they were most fun when everything was a surprise.

"Whatever." Karev still looked skeptical.

They wandered around the booth a little bit more before stepping back into the long main corridor lined with stalls of all sorts. To the left there was a nut stand. On the right the beginning of the fish market. Food to flowers to fountain pens the place seemed to have it all. And at the same time, neither Jackson no Alex were having much luck in picking gifts. They sidled into another partitioned area filled with small carved objects.

"If it makes you feel any better," Jackson said, letting go of Simon's hand and allowing the boy scamper over to a special holiday area filled with carved nativity scenes. "I have  _no_ idea what I am going to get April this year."

He'd known his wife for over twenty years. He'd gotten her Christmas gifts for almost as long. And sometimes it was just harder than others. Over the years, Jackson had given diamonds and books, and clothes, and clothing. He never wanted to disappoint. And yet, he never felt that he could ever find a gift that actually told April everything he wanted her to know.

How could they? How could he possibly find something that said, "I'm so happy we found each other, I am happy to have spent another year with you, thank you for being a great mother, and I love you," all wrapped neatly into one object?

There was no way to say everything he wanted to say.

Even gift giving had it's limitations. Especially when every time Jackson asked April what she wanted, her reply was a simple and useless, "Oh, I don't need anything..."

Very helpful. At least kids told you what they wanted.

"No, that doesn't make me feel any better," Alex replied, picking up a finely detailed carving of a salmon, and pulling Jackson's mind back to the store. "Just get her some office supplies or something. Kepner freaking worships the ground you walk on. Always has. You could give her a stapler and she'd think it was the most thoughtful gift of the century."

He held up the wooden fish and gave Jackson a questioning look. He shook his head, and Karev put the object down.

"See," Alex continued. "Unlike your marriage, mine was founded on the basis of Lisa calling me on my crap. If I get her crap, I'll freakin' hear about it."

Jackson shrugged. It wasn't like he and April didn't have issues over the years. Everyone did. Marriage and all that.

He browsed around, looking at some wood carved jewelry. He eyed a pair of earrings, carved as whales and inlaid with small rubies. Not really April's style but maybe...Jackson held the package up and Alex wrinkled his nose shaking his head vehemently.

"No way! She'd know I didn't pick those."

"I'm just trying to help."

Shrugging, Alex glanced at his watch and sighed, "Eh, well presents or not, I gotta get back or Bailey will have my ass. I've still got twelve days, right? I figure something out."

Jackson chuckled. Karev did the same thing every year. He'd start shopping early and bitch and moan about how hard it was and how he didn't know how to get the right things for people, and then right at the end he always managed to give his family just the right gift, in the perfect way. Shaking his head, Jackson watched the other man breeze out of the store, offering Simon a small wave as he walked past the place where the boy was playing.

Checking his phone for time, Jackson sighed. Maybe he'd have to call this trip a bust too. It was around lunch time, and he wanted to make sure Simon ate. He still had twelve days to figure something out. He knew he would.

Approaching his son, Jackson squeezed the little boy's shoulder, "Time to go, bud. We gotta eat."

"You should get Mama this one," Simon said, holding up a box containing a carved nativity, similar to the ones on display that the boy was playing with.

Jackson took the box and examined it skeptically. A pig nativity scene. Not exactly the gift he had in mind for his wife.

"I think this would be more for you than for Mom."

"Mama  _likes_  pigs," Simon shrugged, jumping to his feet. "And Nana and Grampi used to have pigs on their farm before they went to heaven. And she used to live there, before she was my Mommy, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Pigs are cool. Member when I was little and we went and met the pigs? They were big, and smelly, and soft, and Riley tried to make me ride one, but Grampi wouldn't let her..."

Shaking his head and letting Simon talk, Jackson went to put the box back, but for some reason he paused. He closely scrutinized the picture on the outside of the box.

It wasn't much really.

A pig Mary and Joseph with a little piglet Jesus to round it out. It didn't even really make sense when you thought about it. After all, the whole thing was supposed to have happened in a stable anyway, and pigs did hang out there. Only the story Jackson heard never featured pigs in the starring roles. It was the ultimate level of 'cute'.

Bad cute. Tacky cute. Sweet cute.

Still, Jackson couldn't quite bring himself to pick the box back. Something about the pig nativity spoke to him. Maybe he was crazy, but knowing his wife, it really was the kind of thing she'd go for. Jury was still out on how she'd react to receiving it as a gift from him. It was a far cry from your typical husband wife sort of gift.

Nothing like he'd gotten April in the past. And certainly not diamonds. But, still...

Turning the box over Jackson saw the the little gift was not a bad price. And there wasn't anything that said it  _had_ to end up being the actual gift he gave April. He could always buy this and find something else later.

Yeah.

Taking Simon's hand and walking over to the cash register to pay for the set, Jackson nodded to himself. Yes, the nativity was just a back up gift. Just a start.

While the cashier rang them up, Jackson glanced down to his little boy, who stared back with a smug dimpled grin, "I told you Daddy! Piggies are funny."

Laughing Jackson shook his head. He'd have to see how all this went.

"Thanks, little man," he said. "You did a good job helping me today."

Sure enough, the smile grew, and Simon started to bounce on his feet. With Simon, a small compliment went a long way.

Taking his change and his purchase from the cashier with a quick thanks, Jackson led his son out of the store and into the bustling main market.

"Let's go eat," he continued. "What do you want?"

The little boy had gone back to concentrating on walking on only green tiles, and didn't seem to hear the question.

"Simon? Earth to Simon?" Jackson said, catching the child off guard and lifting him to his hip."What do you want to eat, big guy?"

"Su-shi!"

"Sushi? Really?"

"Yes," Simon said firmly. " _Please?_  I like sushi. It tastes cold, but not cold like ice cream. And you get to eat it with sticks, and the white stuff is good when you put brown sauce on top, but I don't like the green stuff..."

"Okay..." Jackson shook his head.

Hardly the lunch he'd had in mind. But oh well. It was a special day together, just the two of them. Why not splurge? He continued walking, and checked his phone to find the nearest sushi place.

"Daddy," Simon interjected, staring down in mock horror as Jackson walked on the tiled floor. "You have to walk on the green ones!"

Jackson could only laugh, and begin walking with an exaggerated swagger from green tile to green tile, to the sound Simon's delighted giggles. What ideas this kid had.

Green tiles only. Sushi in winter. Pig nativity gifts.

But the sushi that they ate did end up tasting pretty good, and Jackson would walk like anything, even a duck, to make his kid laugh that hard again.

So maybe, just maybe, a pig nativity would turn out to be a good idea after all.


	2. Chapter 2

_On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Two turtle doves_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

April exhaled deeply as she flopped down on the attending lounge couch. It felt so good to be off her feet. The ER was crazy full of trauma's this time of year. Seattle drivers clearly knew nothing about how to drive in ice, because the uptick of car crash trauma in December was always noticeable. Already today, she'd dealt with or supervised 4 separate crash cases. And the aches and pains she felt from walking around made April realize that she really wasn't as young as she used to be.

Now all she wanted to do was to eat her lunch, relax, and not stand up for a while. In the event that her pager didn't go off anytime soon, April had an hour to do just that. And she was looking forward to it.

The increase in car crashes this time of year was always stressful to her, and not just professionally. She had a lot of stake in what happened on Seattle's streets. Both her husband and four children traveled by car on those streets single day.

And no matter what, April worried.

Jackson said she was being too paranoid. People drove in cars all the time. He was a good driver for the most part.  _She_ was a good driver too. But April had seen the devastating aftermath of car accidents and traumas enough times in her career to know that not one single trip to school, the park, or the grocery store could be taken for granted. Not one. You had to be careful, and vigilant, each and every time.

And April was. Even though it made her an anxious driver, she also knew it made her a cautious one. A safe one.

Driving was an increasingly nerve wracking experience recently because her oldest son Conner had just gotten his learner's permit. It felt like he was constantly begging one or both of his parents to go with him and teach him to drive so that he could get enough practice hours in before his 16th birthday in the spring to get his driver's license. Jackson was always calm and collected and did most of the instruction. The two times April had taken Conner on the road, it had ended badly.

In tears as a matter of fact. Her tears.

Damned if the boy didn't have a lead foot, a tendency to forget to use the blinkers, and a terrifying habit of creeping stops. They'd barely made it around the block before April ended the lesson and reclaimed the driver's seat.

Logically, April understood that it had to happen. Conner was getting older, and a driver's licence certainly was a stepping stone to growing up. But that didn't quiet the fear that gripped her heart when she thought of her oldest son, her baby, driving around on the hilly, nonsensical too often unexpectedly one way streets of Seattle. It wasn't that she didn't trust Conner to learn how to drive well, she knew he could, and would eventually, with her husband's teaching. It was all the other driver's on the road around him that she worried about.

Jackson said she was over reacting, but April was happy enough to let most of the actual driving time go to him, while she managed the worrying.

As April took a bite of her sandwich the lounge doors opened and Meredith strode in, carrying her tablet and talking with Cristina on video chat from Mayo.

"Hey Cristina!" April said brightly as Meredith settled down in the space next to her on the couch. "How are you?"

"Cold, Kepner. Very, very cold. It's like the antarctic up here!"

Meredith rolled her eyes, "You've been living in Minnesota for almost 20 years, you'd think you would get used to the winters by now..."

Cristina rolled her eyes and the image pitched to the side slightly as she turned her ipad toward a window, "I'm from California, I thought Seattle was too cold. I'm allowed to complain about this. Just look at it! 8 feet of snow. You never get used to that!"

Taking another bite of her sandwich April leaned over to get a better view off of Meredith's ipad. Cristina had turned her camera to face a window, revealing a snowy street scene outside her office.

At that moment the door opened again, and Callie breezed in carrying a cup of coffee. She joined them on the couch and also squinted at Meredith's ipad.

"Oh, look, it's Torres," Cristina said. "Real party we've got going on here."

"That is a lot of snow," Callie said, peering at the view from Cristina's window and speaking in a tone that made them all laugh.

This had been going on for years. Cross country teleconferenced lunches. These days, April felt like she saw Cristina more over Meredith's shoulder on an ipad screen than she did in person.

"I bet weather like that is hell on holiday shopping," Callie continued. "If you want to go in person at least...who wants to go anywhere in all of that? I wouldn't even want to leave the house."

"I don't want to leave the hospital," Cristina remarked honestly.

Meredith laughed, "That has nothing to do with the snow in Minnesota. You never want to leave the hospital."

April yawned and took another bite of her sandwich, giggling as Cristina's face whipped back into frame, glaring at Meredith. Their friendship was such an interesting thing to observe all these years. It seemed so close. Unchanged by time or distance. Almost impenetrable. Like they had their own language sometimes.

April had never had a female friend that she was ever that close to. The closest she'd ever come to having a friendship like Cristina and Meredith's had been during her residency at Mercy West, with Reed. They'd been close, best friends even, but Reed had been murdered before April thought they could reach that 'person' point. And then, the very next closest friend April had was Jackson, and he had turned out to be so much more than a friend.

He'd turned out to be the love of her life.

Over the years she had developed her own close bonds with Callie, Meredith, Arizona, Cristina and others, but she knew it was different.

"Going back to the subject of gift giving," Callie said conspiratorially, eyes darting around the room as though she was checking the room for spies, before she continued in a sing song sort of voice. "This year Arizona's gift is going to be amazing!"

"You got her present already?" Meredith asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"I don't know what to get Derek."

"Arizona is going to love this."

Cristina's face moved closer to her screen, "What did you get?"

"Tickets for a Mediterranean cruise in the spring!" Callie answered, grinning. "Spain, France, Italy, Croatia, Greece...beaches and wine and relaxation."

"Oh my gosh! That is going to be  _amazing_ ," April said brightly.

"And warm," Cristina moaned, shivering visibly on the ipad.

"I know," Callie continued, gesturing with her hands emphatically. "We are  _embracing_  the empty nest."

Meredith raised her eye brows, "Embracing the empty nest?"

"Oh yeah," the dark haired woman replied, nodding earnestly. "First, it was so hard, you know, with Sofia gone down in Santa Barbara for school. First you're sad about the empty nest. But then...well, then you realize that it's kind of an opportunity too. Sof's doing fine, and for the first time in 18 years...well, for us almost the first time since we've been married. It's just  _us_. Alone. Doing things. Together...Alone."

"That sounds nice," Meredith nodded.

"Oh, it is," Callie agreed. "Just wait. You're almost there with Zola. Three more years and Mei'll be off and away for college. You and Derek too will embrace the empty nest. Three more years..."

April unscrewed the cap of her water bottle and nearly choked on a mouthful of water when Cristina snarked, "At the rate Kepner keeps popping them out, she and Jackson will be in a nursing home before they have an empty nest to embrace."

The other women on the couch cracked up and April glared at them indignantly. It wasn't like four kids was  _that_  big of a family anyway. Sure, maybe in Seattle with a bunch of surgeons four seemed like a lot, but honestly compared to her sisters and cousins, April's family was small. And it wasn't like their children were super close together either. Well, not the first three anyway. And there was nothing wrong with any of it. She wasn't one of those perpetually pregnant nurses or reality tv stars who had like twenty children.

"I-I am not 'p-popping them out'!" April stammered, taking another bite of her sandwich with a scowl fixed on her forehead. "It's not-it's not like that. They're my kids. It's just h-how things worked out."

"Aw, she's getting flustered," Cristina smirked.

Meredith lifted her chin, "I don't think that waiting for an empty nest makes a huge difference to them, Cristina. Considering there are four baby Averys, clearly finding that little bit of _alone_  time is not a problem for Jackson and April."

There were laughing again and April's cheeks flushed as her eyes widened, "I-I..we-we just-"

"You're so easy April," Cristina added, raising one eyebrow. Callie snorted.

Rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, April sighed. She knew they only teased her for fun. And it had really gotten a lot less painful over the years. They were more good natured about it, and she'd learned not to take it all so much to heart. Most of the time. She set her jaw, tiling her head, and glared at all three other women.

"Haha, very funny," April said sarcastically, before pulling the subject back to where it had began. "Anyway, I am sure Arizona will love the cruise, Callie."

"She better...it wasn't cheap."

"I'm already almost done shopping for this year," she continued nonchalantly.

"Even for Jackson?" Meredith turned to face April's direction. Callie leaned forward too, and Cristina gestured for her friend to adjust the ipad screen.

April could just feel all of their eyes on her. Watching and waiting to hear her reply. She didn't understand why. It wasn't that big of a deal really. She liked to plan ahead. And if you used Thanksgiving deals, you could really save a lot. Especially on electronics or toys. The American Girl doll she'd gotten for Hannah had been a 40 percent off Cyber Monday deal, as a matter of fact. It paid to plan ahead.

"Yeah, I got him what I always get him," she shrugged.

"What? A baby bjorn?" Cristina chuckled.

April leaned back, and set her jaw, "No!"

"Cristina! Let her talk," Meredith waved her hand calming. "What do you always get him?"

"Nike's."

They weren't laughing now. The attendings lounge was silent. Three sets of incredulous eyes blinked at April. Two pairs physical, one pair virtual.

"Shoes?" Meredith ventured after a moment. "You...always get him shoes?"

"Yes, he likes the Hyperdunks and the Air Jordan's, mostly but sometimes he wants the Superdunks too. And they come out with new designed ones every year and you'd be surprised how-"

So," Cristina cut in, apparently trying hard not to laugh. "Let me get his straight: Avery is getting sneakers? He's  _been_ getting sneakers for fifteen years?"

April swallowed and her eyes darted around the room, nervously, "Yes..."

Callie shrugged and curled her lips, "Sneakers don't say 'I love you'."

"Jackson loves sneakers," April mumbled, ducking her head.

She could feel it coming on. Slowly slipping into her heart, mind, and skin. Her insecurity was creeping in like a slow moving tide. Like an illness you never could quite get rid of. She'd been dealing with her anxieties and fears for her whole life, and April knew that she really had gotten much better. Since marrying Jackson and learning to be a mother and becoming department head. She'd come a long way from being the shy intern she was when her residency had started at Mercy West. A long way.

But still, in moments like this, April found she had to battle the doubts as they entered her mind. Doubts about her ability to do her job. Doubts about her parenting decisions. Doubts about whether Jackson regretted marrying her, and staying with her. She knew they all were just products of her own anxious mind, but it was still hard to ignore sometimes.

And the way Meredith, Cristina, and Callie were looking at her now? All the doubts were coming out to play.

"Well...yeah, but..." Callie shrugged. "Variety is the spice of life, right? I mean, he's been getting the same thing every year. You don't think Jackson might be holding out for that one time you change it up?"

"I mean, what does it say to him?" Cristina added more seriously. "You can get his gift on auto pilot. It's not even like you're stopping and thinking about it...what does that say? Oh, you're not even worth expending the extra brain power of thinking of something new."

"I do think about it," April's head fell even lower, and her shoulders slumped.

She did. She always researched the very best orthopedic designs, and which kind of his favorite shoes would best suit his needs. And Riley had helped to pick the color this year. It wasn't just an autopilot thing. At least, she didn't think it was. She didn't mean it to be.

But what if Jackson did think that April didn't love him enough to think of something different every year? She always thought he liked getting new shoes, and he seemed happy enough every Christmas morning when he opened them. But what if it was all, like a giant white lie or something? What if Jackson was trying to spare her feelings and had just been sucking it up and dealing with sub par Christmas presents for the whole of the relationship? What if he did want a surprise? He'd gotten her some beautiful things over the years. He might even feel short changed.

Damn it. Why hadn't she realized sooner?

The wheels in April's mind began to turn. What if? What if? What if? Should she try to get him something else? If yes, then what? What said 'I love you'?

"Now we've freaked you out," Callie said apologetically. "Don't worry. If it's been working all these years...What do we know? You're the one in your marriage. You know better than us."

Maybe. It was just that April had never been that good at understanding romantic and social cues. It has tripped her up in the past. So, it wasn't completely inconceivable that she was misreading Jackson the whole time, was it?

Meredith rested a reassuring hand on April's thigh, "I'm sure Jackson will like his gift."

April shrugged and went back to eating her lunch as the other three women continued on a new topic of conversation. She hoped Meredith was right.

But just in case...maybe she needed to look into alternative, more meaningful gifts. April made a mental list to start a list and begin research as soon as she picked up the kids and went home. There was almost no time. Plus, on top of the research, they still had to pick a tree and decorate the house over the weekend. Things were already behind.

With just 11 days left until Christmas, she knew she'd have to step it up. April needed to make absolutely sure she gave her husband the best possible gift.

April loved Jackson so much. It was the least she could do.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Three French hens,_

_Two turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

It was raining. Jackson supposed he really shouldn't be surprised, because it was always raining in Seattle. Or it seemed that way, anyway. And it wasn't really even proper rain. Just a vague mist. Something between pouring rain and fog. Mist.

The weather couldn't make up it's mind.

Not unlike his wife at this very moment, Jackson realized, as they continued to wander through the rows of neatly organized Christmas trees. They were in search of just the right tree for their home and it was a very carefully pondered decision with many vetted and vetoed candidates. An artificial tree simply wouldn't do, and neither would a grocery store one. April preferred to support local tree farmers, so every year since they'd been together they'd done just that.

Jackson walked up behind April, slipping his arms around her waist and leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder while she carefully scrutinized a tree in front of them.

"This one looks nice," he murmured into her ear, mixing in with the faint sounds of laughter that could be heard as the kids played around in the trees nearby.

April sighed and tilted her head to one side, so that she could look at him from the corner of her eye, "Yes...but I think it's just a tad to tall for the living room, don't you?"

Shrugging, Jackson replied, "Maybe. We could do some creative trimming though. It has a really good shape."

Truth be told, Jackson knew little about the 'art' of picking the right live Christmas tree. In fact, until he'd fallen in love with April, Jackson had never had a live Christmas tree in his whole life. His family had always been far to busy with surgery and reputation building to deal with pesky little details like that and had always used an artificial tree. For that matter, not only had the tree been fake, but more often than not, a nanny or house keeper had done the decorating.

And he could count on one hand the number of times he actually remembered spending a childhood Christmas with his grandfather and brother. Usually, Jackson's mother was the only one there for presents on Christmas morning. And even then some years she'd ended up going back to the hospital before lunch. Holidays with April and his own family were very different. Very together.

"It's a candidate..." April continued tentatively, before slipping her hand into his and moving along to another set of trees. "But let's see what else we can find."

They passed Conner at the end of the row, looking thoroughly bored as he hunched over the screen of his cell phone. As they went by the teen looked up and asked, "Uh, how much longer is this gonna take? You said I could go with Louis to the movies at 5 and-"

"I know. We'll be done by then, I promise. Don't worry," April calmly explained.

Jackson sensed that Conner was getting to that adolescent phase where spending anytime with your family at all felt like a huge inconvenience. Especially when he'd been taken on the tree choosing trip for his whole life. But Jackson hoped that someday he'd look back and appreciate how nice it was that their little family made an effort to do things like this, and spent time together as a group. That had been a rare thing in Jackson's childhood, so he was eager not to repeat that experience with his own children. Even when they thought family time was uncool.

Riley and Simon scampered between the trees, laughing hard before they ran up to their parents.

"We found it! We found it!" Simon shouted.

Riley pointed to a huge tree, "Let's get that one!"

Jackson might not be the best at eyeballing tree height, but he did know that this was a bit excessive. Massive in fact. And Riley and Simon probably knew too. Still, it was nice to see them both happy and playing together. His older daughter had been a bit moody in recent months. Conner had been petulant and a little mouthy too at the same age, though not nearly to the same degree as Riley. But today had so far been a good day.

Jackson laughed at their cheeky grins and explained diplomatically, "I don't think this one will fit on the car, guys."

"Keep looking!" April encouraged brightly as she rested a hand on Riley's shoulder.

Giggling to one and other, the pair began darting in and out of the trees again.

Jackson caught April's eye and he could tell, from years of co-parenting and silent communication, that she was thinking the same thing he was. Conner was bored. Riley was playing with Simon. One plus two equals three. Hannah was distinctly and uncharacteristically quiet. Absent. And she'd been playing with her siblings only a minute ago.

Hannah could be a little sly and mischievous. And that combined with her outgoing personality had often given her caretakers, parents, family and friends alike, cause for alarm. She'd nearly given her grandmother and Webber a heart attack in a Macy's the previous summer when she'd slipped away and decided to make friends with some ladies in the shoe department. Counter intuitively to Jackson, it seemed like the older Hannah got, the more you have to watch her.

"Where's Hannah?" April's eyes darted around.

Before Jackson could reply, the sounds of laughter coming from Riley and Simon abruptly changed. A screech, followed by a cascade of tears reached their ears. Turning to see what the commotion was all about, they could see Riley was holding a struggling and sobbing Simon upside down.

"Riley!" April said sternly, immediately moving to intervene. "Put your brother down! Right now! Right now!"

Looked like she was off to sort things out and Jackson took that to mean that he was on Hannah duty. To his surprise, before he could so much as move a muscle, his little girl appeared at his side, peering up at him from beneath the edge of her hood. Looking sheepish. And unwrapping a mini candy cane.

"Where'd you get that?" Jackson asked suspiciously. He'd stashed a package of them in the glove compartment that he wanted to take to work later in the week. Somehow she always managed to find things that were concealed, food things in particular, no matter how carefully they were hidden.

"It's mine," Hannah shrugged, shifting from foot to foot and licking the candy.

"You haven't had dinner yet," Jackson said seriously, lifting his younger daughter in his arms to keep her from vanishing again.

"I know," Hannah replied, as though she didn't have a qualm in the world. "But I'll still eat."

"I bet you will," he mumbled in defeat. It was only a small candy cane, so Jackson decided not to push the issue. "Don't let your mother see..."

Hannah nodded solemnly and took a bite of the candy. Then, both father and daughter turned to watch April deal with the little fight.

It reminded Jackson a lot of the kinds of things his big brother Parker would pull on him when they were kids. Only Catherine Avery wouldn't have wasted the time or energy in trying to find out why Parker and Jackson fought. His mother would have pulled them apart, and in no uncertain terms, explained that fighting was unbecoming of an Avery. And that was that. Not exactly the most satisfying end, for either brother. Jackson loved his mother, but he thought that there were moments and situations in his past that could have been handled better.

For his kids it was different. Things were never about behaving like and Avery or not. It had nothing to do with reputation. Rather, feelings and family. Jackson loved that April was all about finding out exactly what happened between the kids, and explaining why fighting with each other wasn't a good response to anger. It was something they both did. And honestly, even though there definitely was more then a few squabbles between the children, Jackson thought that they behaved a lot better then he and Parker ever had as kids.

Jackson truly believed that handling things in a different way really made a big difference.

"He was putting rocks in his pockets!" Riley shouted defiantly, gesturing to a small pile of stones that had fallen to the ground when she'd held Simon in the air. You're the one always asking why the pockets of his pants are always filled with dirt! Duh, it's because he puts rocks in there."

April had wrapped her arms soothingly around the still sniffling Simon, "He's five; five year old's do things like put rocks in their pockets. That doesn't give you the right to grab him and hold him upside down, Riley. You could have dropped him and he might have been hurt. Remember what we say about keeping our hands to ourselves?"

"That's what  _you_ want us to say," Riley countered crossing her arms. "That doesn't mean I have to believe it."

"You can't go through life getting physical with every person who does something you think they shouldn't," April continued firmly. "I want you to say you're sorry to Simon."

" _You're_  not my boss and  _I_  don't care!"

"You don't care that you made your little brother cry?"

"No!" Riley hissed. "Simon can be such a stupid crybaby, and I am not sorry."

On his hip, Jackson heard Hannah gasp, "Uh oh."

He nodded in agreement.

Girl was right. So much for Riley's good day.

"We don't talk about each other like that in this family," April's face and posture visibly changed. "Say you're sorry."

"No."

Jackson internally begged his older daughter to just suck it up. Apologize and move on. This whole fight was totally not going to be worth it. They didn't really do the whole good cop bad cop thing, but Jackson knew that she'd ended up being a bit more of the disciplinarian. And April wasn't about to let Riley treat her brother this way, or backtalk. Or leave this situation amicably without an apology.

Even Conner interest was pulled from his endless stream of texts to watch the showdown unfold. At the other end of the row he looked up from his phone with curiosity.

Never taking her eyes from Riley, April straightened her shoulders, "Fine. That's it then. You're done. Conner?"

"Uh, yeah?"

April rummaged in her purse and pulled out the car keys and tossed them to her older son, "Conner, I want you to take Riley to the car and sit with her. We'll be leaving in ten minutes."

Conner's eyes widened and he nodded mutely. The Christmas tree trip never ended early. Even with snow. And, where Conner was bored with the whole tree picking experience, Jackson could tell that April had made a good call with Riley. It clearly still held currency with her and she did not like being cut out of it.

Riley's shoulders slumped, " _Mom_!"

"No phone either," April said holding her palm out in front of the angry ten year old.

Riley scowled and pulled the object of her pocket, thrusting it into April's hand. She kicked her feet and looked around at all the Christmas trees, "But what about-"

"You lost the privilege to help us pick. Go on," April gestured toward the car. "We'll be finished in a minute. Thank you, Conner."

"Sure," the teen said, turning to lead his reluctant sister to the car.

"Dang," Jackson said, letting out a low wolf whistle and carrying Hannah over to April.

He was aware that his wife hated fighting with Riley, and he could tell that she was obviously distressed as she continued to sooth Simon, "I just don't know what do do with her sometimes, Jackson. I know she doesn't mean to be so disrespectful. I hope I'm not overreacting..."

"Eh," Jackson replied, bouncing Hannah to one side to make her laugh, and to remind April that, however poorly this trip was going, at least they had all four kids present and accounted for. "Riley's got spunk. And she doesn't always know what to do with it. So she lashes out. You made a good call. She needs to learn somehow."

April nodded and looked down to Simon, "You okay, buddy?"

"I don't like be upside down," he replied plaintively, still crying, and looking down the the pile of five rocks on the ground in front of him. "My...my wocks..."

It was turning out not to be a successful outing at all, Jackson concluded. But he couldn't help but smile as he watched April kneel down next to the little boy. He knew that she really did hate having to do extra laundry just to make sure that the inside of Simon's muddy pockets got cleaned. Normally, she'd probably try to convince him to leave the stones here. Yet now, here she was, helping him find his rocks again.

It was one of the many reason's Jackson loved April so much. He wouldn't want any other mother for his children.

"Let's see. Here they are," April said, pulling out a packet of tissues from her purse and beginning to carefully wrap up the rocks. "We're going to have to find you something better than pockets to carry these in, I think."

"O'kay..."

After each rock was wrapped, April tucked them into her purse and lifted Simon into her arms, "I'll just keep them in here until we get home."

Simon didn't say anything more and buried his head in April's neck. Carrying around a bunch of rocks in a purse was definitely something a younger Catherine Avery would never have done.

Jackson reached out one hand and squeezed his wife's shoulder, "We can always come back?"

"No, let's just get a tree and go home," April said wearily. Jackson could tell that most everyone in the family, with the exception of himself and Hannah, was done with this. For better or worse, the fun had gone out of it.

Hannah had finished her candy cane, and was pointing at a somewhat thin but beautiful little tree at the end of the row, "Can we get that one?"

Jackson and April both turned to look at the tree. It was smaller than the once they normally went for. And less lush. To be honest, it was nothing like the trees they family had picked in the past. But the rain had stopped and April still looked like she wanted to cry, and Simon was still crying so Jackson decided that now was the time to make a decision. The tree would do.

"We sure can," he nodded to Hannah, making their way over to the patch owner to get it all settled and paid for. "This is our tree."

 


	4. Chapter 4

_On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_To turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

April hummed along to the Christmas music that played from the stereo in the living room as she carefully unpacked another carefully organized box of holiday decorations in front of her. Outside Jackson and most of the kids were stringing up their multicolored Christmas lights. Riley was still being sullen and had opted to stay up in her room reading. Near April, on the couch, Zoosuit the cat yawned leisurely and stretched, batting at a lose strand of tinsel and sniffing the items that she was pulling out of the box with mild curiously.

One of April's favorite parts of the week was spending cozy Sunday afternoons with her family, and the fact that this particular one would be spend decorating made everything better.

She really did love the holidays. She loved taking the moment to get a little festive and to reflect and be with family. And even though the tree shopping trip the day before had ended badly, that did little to dampen April's excitement to decorate the house today. As soon as they'd gotten home from church April had made a list and organized everything the needed to get done, lights, ornaments, stockings, putting out the Santa cookie jar, and the lot. She had always loved the way a house transformed during the holidays. It was fun.

But April did realize that maybe it wasn't as fun for everyone in the family as it was for her. Hannah seemed to love decorating as much as her mother, and Simon was still little enough that tinsel and lights still felt like magic, but the rest of them appeared to mostly tolerate the pre-holiday decorating Sunday more than anything else. April kind of thought that Jackson only really did all of it because he loved her. Much in the same way she was pretty sure that he'd only gone along to church with her all these years.

It wasn't like his family had been big on holidays or church, so April doubly appreciated his actions. Jackson did all of it because he loved her enough to want to do things that made her happy. She was lucky to have him, and to be quite perfectly honest she had no idea what she could have possibly done to deserve him or the family that she had with him. The door opened, and a smattering of footsteps thundered into the house, accompanied by the sound of happy chatter as the kids came into the living room.

Hannah rushed up to April's side, bumping into the couch, announcing proudly, "We're all done with the lights!"

Simon skipped over and added, "They turned on and everything. Not like last year..."

"Hey," Jackson appeared in the doorway, feigning wounded dignity. "I thought we agreed never to speak of that again."

The little kids both turned back to their father and grinned. Their laughter was infectious, and April couldn't help but join in. She loved the way Jackson joked with his kids. Most of the time he was able to keep things light and funny, and all four of the children clearly adored him. And of course, the sight of Jackson with their children never failed to make April swoon.

It was actually a sight the rarely failed to make most women swoon, but April had the added satisfaction of knowing that the children he looked hot taking care of were actually hers too. He'd chosen her to spend a life with, and to take that step of becoming a parent with. Totally swoon worthy.

And worth more than an unending stream of Nike tennis shoes. Lame, lame, lame. April wanted to kick herself for not realizing sooner. She needed to think of something better. Something more meaningful. Bigger. But of course, ideas alluded her.

Clearing her throat, April picked up her notebook and consulted the decorating list, crossing off the outside lights as a task, "So that's done."

Conner kicked of his sneakers and plopped down next to April on the couch, "What's next?"

"Well, I need someone to hang stockings for the fireplace..."

"Me!" Simon screeched, raising his hand like he was in school.

Hannah covered her mouth and giggled, "You can't reach that high."

"Neither can you," he countered, still holding his hand in the air.

"Well," April smirked, looking pointedly at Jackson. "I know someone who might be able to help you both out...what if we have Daddy help you with that?"

"I don't know," he teased. "It's a very important job. I might not be up to it."

"Yes you are, Daddy!" Hannah walked over to her father and grabbed one of his hands, pulling him toward the fireplace with all her small body weight.

He stumbled along, "Okay, okay. I believe you."

"Yes!" Simon yelled, holding out his arms for April. She fished in the supply box and pulled out each stocking, placing them all in his arms.

Everyone in the family had a stocking. Jackson, April, Conner, Riley, Hannah, Simon, and Grandma Catherine and Grandpa Richard. Even Zootsuit the cat. Stockings had been a favorite part of her own childhood, and April still loved the idea now. She watched as Simon marched over to join Jackson and Hannah, before turning to Conner and consulting her list.

"Can I do like...the random miscellaneous jobs?" He asked, leaning over the box and digging through its contents. "You know, like the stuff that isn't on the tree. Window clings, tinsel, cookie jar, and stuff?"

April grinned and looked up at her oldest son, "That would help so much, thank you Conner."

"Sweet," Conner replied, reaching into the box and grabbed a few handfuls of tinsel before heading off into the house to decorate.

Over at the fireplace, April could hear a lively discussion over what order to hang the stockings. She chuckled. That might take a while. Returning to her own task of organizing the ornaments they wanted to use on the tree, April noticed that Zootsuit had given up sniffing the holiday stuff and had turned her attention to the stairway. April turned around, curious as to what had drawn his focus.

Oh.

Riley sat on the steps watching the decorating through the bars that held up the stair railing. She had her arms wrapped around her knobby knees and frowned as she looked on forlornly at the stocking hanging. April still felt bad about the fight they'd had yesterday, even though she felt like she had to discipline her daughter for her behavior. Riley was miffed her mother for getting in trouble, and she held a grudge like none of the other kids ever did. So last night things had been tense between them, and that had carried on through to today.

"Hi! You wanna come help me?"

April glanced up at her daughter and smiled awkwardly. She really hated that lately she and Riley had been at odds. She remembered a period in her youth when Kimmie and her mother hadn't gotten along for a few years. She remembered the tension filled dinners and family outings and they never had really gotten to be as close again even after that period ended. Even though Kimmie's fight with Karen had occurred during the teen years, and there were good reasons why her own daughter was acting out the way she was, it still made April feel sad to think that maybe that would happen with her and Riley.

Having Riley had been a thrilling event for April. Not that she hadn't been thrilled after Conner's birth too. It was just that she'd grown up with four sisters and lots of aunts, and had always dreamed of having a daughter of her own. And the child she gotten couldn't have been more perfect. Riley was smart and opinionated and beautiful. She was the only one of the four kids to get Jackson's eyes. When she was born April had imagined all the girly things that they could do together.

And they did a lot of those things. But sometimes Riley's attitude caused a rift.

She wasn't sure if Riley would take up the offer to join decorating, but to April's pleasant surprise the girl slowly uncurled her limbs and made her way down the stairs and over to the couch.

April gestured to the ornament box in front of her, "I'm figuring out which ones to put on the tree. Why don't you take this half of the box and I'll do the other?"

At first, Riley didn't say anything, but she did reach over and lift an ornament out of the box. It was a little nativity one that April had gotten ages ago for her little Christmas tree during her residency.

"That one is an oldie, but goody. We can put that one on the tree if you want?" April said quietly. "The definitely yes pile is right there."

Riley nodded and gingerly placed the ornament in the pile. After a moment she said, "Jesus's birthday isn't really in December, you know."

Surprised at the abrupt beginning of conversation, April nodded, "I know. There was already a pagan holiday in winter, and I guess the early Christians thought it would make it easier to convert if they just joined on to pre-existing celebrations. Doesn't really change the meaning. "

"That's what I read," Riley shrugged, grabbing another ornament.

"It's still fun though," April continued brightly. "Now it's an interesting mix of lots of traditions. Christmas has got a lot going on, right?"

"I guess."

They went back to sorting ornaments in silence for a bit, until Riley spoke up again, regarding April seriously and speaking in a whisper.

"Do you ever wonder if God is just, like, the Santa Claus that adults never stop believing in?"

This line of questioning was not what April had expected at all. She licked her lips, "That is a very big question."

April knew that Jackson was overhearing the conversation, because he turned to look in their direction.

The subject of religion was one that she never wanted any of her children to be afraid to talk about. April had loved her father to death, but when it had come to religion, he'd been pretty firm and stern on the truth of the Bible, and limited any and all discussion surrounding it. After losing her virginity, failing her boards, and dealing with the charter plane crash that killed her friends, April had been forced to grapple with her entire belief system.

It was actually kind of astounding to find that her ten year old daughter was thinking about these kinds of questions now. And April knew how heavy a thing it was to examine these issues in your own life, and felt like she'd just gotten that much more of an insight into her daughter's behavior of late.

"I wondered once," April spoke carefully. "But when I really thought about it...I guess, I ended up thinking that being right or wrong about God's existence doesn't really matter one way or the other."

Out of the corner of her eye, April glimpsed Jackson's nod of approval.

Riley blinked, "It doesn't really matter?"

"It doesn't to me, as far as I think about it. You had fun believing in Santa right? It made you try to act good during the year to make sure he came to visit. And he made you feel better, so it didn't really matter if he was or wasn't real. You don't need to know for sure if there is a God to have some faith in him."

Watching her daughter expectantly, April was prepared to discuss the topic further. But Riley just lifted her eyes to the ceiling, biting her lip. She seemed to be taking in the information and turning it over and over in her mind. As they returned to their work in silence, Conner came back into the living room and rummaged around in the decoration box, pulling out a hanger and attaching a fresh sprig of mistletoe April had bought earlier in the week.

"So does this actually work?" he asked. "I mean, suppose you end up underneath it on accident, do you really have to kiss the person with you?"

Eyebrows approaching her hairline, April eyed her son, "You don't  _have_  to kiss anyone you don't want to."

"Well yeah," Conner shrugged, rolling his eyes. "I mean, though...like if you  _wanted_  to kiss that person..."

"Who do you wanna kiss?" April knew her son was growing up, but maybe she was in denial about how much. Her mind began to race. If he was already thinking about kissing...

" _Mom_!" Conner protested with a wrinkled nose. "I-I'm not gonna tell you-"

"The answer is yes, Conner," Jackson cut in, raising his voice from across the living room. "If there is someone you want to kiss, and they want to kiss you, mistletoe can be a good place to start. It works."

"Jackson!"

"It's the truth."

Riley plopped another ornament down on the 'go' pile and tilted her head to one side, murmuring, "The  _truth_  is that the Greek meaning of the word mistletoe literally means 'dung on a stick' because of how the plants seeds get spread. So, no matter what happens, if there is kissing or not, you are still standing under 'dung on a stick'."

Conner, Jackson, and April all turned to face the ten year old with open mouths.

"Ew," the teenager said, dropping the plant in his hand as though he had been scalded. He fished around in the Christmas box, grabbing the holiday cookie jar and rushing into the kitchen.

"Cool," Jackson laughed and walked over to the couch and grabbed the discarded plant and hanger.

He brushed past April and looked at her seductively, "I guess I have to go hang this up. Since I know I want to use it."

April blushed as she watched him leave the room, before turning back to her daughter, "That's very interesting, Riley. I had no idea. Where'd you learn that?"

The girl shrugged, "I read it."

"You're so smart," April beamed.

Riley ducked her head and said quietly, "Sorry...you know...about yesterday."

The tone of voice and the posture told April that her daughter really and truly meant what she said. It was all April had wanted, "Thanks for the apology."

"I just get so mad sometimes, and then I say stuff," Riley continued, scratching her neck. "I don't even really mean it. And...I do feel bad about making Simon cry. I feel terrible."

"I know," April reached a hand to her daughter's shoulder to squeeze sympathetically. "It's okay. Even when you get in trouble, I'm just trying to help you learn to be better. It's my job."

Rile's eyes lifted to April's and her voice got softer, "You don't hate me?

Standing up and pulling the girl into a tight hug, "I could never. I love you so much."

April realized she might understand Riley better than she knew. She too remembered moments when she had been disciplined by her parents and she'd felt sure that they hated her. She felt insecurity that she was the one sister who was different. Maybe that was a lot of what her daughter was feeling now.

The moment was interrupted when Hannah and Simon returned to the couch triumphantly declaring, "Stockings are done."

Riley pulled back from the hug and faced her little brother and sister. April watched the girl closely for another second before reaching over to her notebook and crossing another job of her list.

"Good job guys," April grinned. "How about the three of you take these ornaments over to the tree and start putting them on, okay?"

The three kids all picked up ornaments from from the pile and headed over to the tree. April scanned her list one more time and realized she'd forgotten to even put wreaths on it. She hastily wrote the word down and then crossed it out, and then grabbing them from their box and heading to the front door to start hanging them up. But before she could open the door, Jackson appeared in the hallway, blocking her path.

"Fancy meeting you here," he smiled, lacing the fingers of one hand with hers and lifting his eyes to the newly place mistletoe hanging from the ceiling above him.

April laughed, placing the wreaths on the ground and pressing her body up close to him, "Fancy indeed."

Jackson pressed his forehead to hers and shook his head, brushing her nose with his, "We happen to be standing under 'dung on a stick'."

"Oh," April murmured, as she felt her pulse increase."So we are. I thought it was commonly called mistletoe."

"That is the literal meaning," Jackson continued. "From the Greek."

April was breathing harder now too, "Right. I've heard..."

Jackson pulled his head back and lifted her chin, glancing down to her lips and licking her own. April sighed. He was just...so deliciously beautiful, and even after all these years he still had the same affect on her. She ran her hand down his chest and stared at his mouth. The desire she felt around him was the same as it had been that first night all the way back in San Francisco. April had never been able to describe it. There was a kind of palpable charge between them.

Suddenly, when they could resist the urge no longer, Jackson pulled April close and they shared a passionate kiss. It was the perfect kind of moment. the ones she had dreamed about having as a young girl. She had it all, a good career, a husband who loved her, and four awesome children. She couldn't ask for more.

They sprang apart when Conner walked down the hallway, carrying a folder of Christmas window clings and moaning, "Oh come on! Really? You're like...old."

April laughed out loud. She certainly did love lazy Sunday afternoons at home.

 


	5. Chapter 5

_On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_To turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

Jackson sighed, and carefully focused on the patient in front of him. A young man of about 25 or 30, named Dave Finch, was in for facial work and a long needed rhinoplasty for a nose broken a few years previous. He was clearly nervous and kept fidgeting on the exam table. Which was understandable. Jackson knew that not everyone was terribly comfortable with being in a doctors office at all, let alone a surgical consult. Finch had been nervous every time he'd come in.

It just made things extremely difficult to draw the incision plan on the man's face.

"So," Jackson continued conversationally, trying to calm the man's obviously heightened nerves. "You're getting married in February?"

Dave flinched as Jackson used a sharpie to mark of the bridge of his nose, "Uh..yeah."

"That's gotta be cool. I bet your girlfriend is excited. Romantic month and everything..."

"Yeah..." the man squirmed again, leaning back as Jackson tried to draw lines beneath his eyes. "I still can't even believe it's happening. I love her, but I can't believe she asked me."

Pausing in his work, Jackson smiled and looked down at his patient, "She proposed to you?"

"She did..." Dave shook his head. "But she's  _so_  out of my league. I always knew that."

The patient's eyes strayed to the exam room window, and Jackson's eyes followed Dave's gaze. He was looking lovingly at the pretty slender, model-like Asian woman who sat waiting for him in the hallway. Dave always elected to have his fiancee wait outside during Jackson's previous exams, and it was clear that he didn't feel super confident about his need for a nose job. Jackson really didn't understand why. He'd gotten a deviated septum in his college years when he'd stepped in to stop a mugging in downtown Seattle. Jackson remembered the news story.

Dave Finch was a hero. He had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. It was a big part of the reason Jackson had taken a special interest in Dave's case. He hoped that by repairing the man's face, an improved self image would follow. He hoped that by improving the man's appearance on the outside, Dave could begin to feel better about himself on the inside.

"She must think you're in her league," Jackson replied encouragingly. "If she asked you to marry her."

Dave scoffed, "Just look at her! She's smart and gorgeous, and has her life all together...and me? I'm...I'm a nerd. She's an accountant and I play video games. I'm a mess. I lived with my mother until I after I graduated design school!"

Lifting the man's chin to double check his surgical lines, Jackson scoffed, "Nah, man. Everyone is different. I'm positive you are just being hard on yourself."

Groaning and tapping his hands on the edge of the bed nervously, Dave shook his head, "Everyone thinks it's a joke. You know? Her and me. That a girl like her would ever pick a guy like me. You know what our friend said when they found out she asked me?"

"What?"

"She said we were going to be an 'inter-facial marriage'," the young man snarled. "Because she is perfect and I look like a ran into a wall with my face."

Jackson frowned. He felt sympathy for the guy. It wasn't an experience he knew too well for himself, but after spending years being married to his more than occasionally uncertain wife, he had some insight into the other man's plight.

"Dave," Jackson reasoned. "She proposed to you when your nose looks like it does now. Obviously, it doesn't matter to her. And someone who says stuff like that isn't a very good friend."

Dave huffed, "She's right though. We look like two different ends of the spectrum."

"That doesn't matter though," Jackson countered. "She wants to marry you."

"With respect, Dr. Avery...You don't understand. Look at you. I'm mean you look like you do now...back when you were my age, I bet you were getting all the girls. You've never had to worry that the person you love isn't right for you. That they don't want you."

Jackson leaned back and rested his hands on his hips, "Look at me, huh? Newsflash my friend.  _Everyone_  worries about that."

Dave just shook his head and frowned, scratching at the uncomfortable gown he wore in advance of his procedure.

"I don't think you understand. Dawn is the first girlfriend I've ever had. The only one," he mumbled. "I don't deserve her."

"You are a good guy," Jackson shook his head. "What you did for that mugging victim? You deserve to let yourself be happy."

Dave shrugged.

Sometimes it was kind of astounding to Jackson just how much his patient's often turned out to be a microcosm of things he'd experienced in his own life. They reflected a lot of the personal issues and experiences he and his hospital family had had over the years. He thought he could help this guy. And not just with his crocked nose. Jackson would do his holiday part. His good deed for Christmas.

Jackson snapped the cap of his marker back on the the pen and slid it in to the pocket of his lab coat. He leaned forward and looked right into Dave's eyes.

"Okay," he began. "Maybe, I don't know what it is like to be you. You're right. I've never had that worry. Well, not often anyway. Look at me. "

Dave's brow furrowed and he blinked in confusion.

"But, I do know what it is like to be your girlfriend," Jackson continued. "Come on. Let's get you ready to go to the OR."

He helped the man off of the exam table and walked him into the hallway on his way to pre-op. As they passed the woman, Dawn, she stood up and smiled anxiously looking to Jackson.

"Is he all ready?"

"Yeah," Jackson grinned, pausing his steps. He could see that Dave's fiancee did love him. Adored him in fact. It was all in her eyes, and the way she rung her hands on the edges of her shirt. You don't look like that for someone you don't love deeply. "I'll take good care of Dave. He'll come out looking great."

"I'll be fine, Dawn," Dave muttered, keeping his head low in an attempt to hide the black marker lines on his face.

The young woman wanted none of that, and she leaned down and pulled Dave's face to look her in the eye, before kissing him on the cheek, "Stay safe baby. I love you."

"You too."

Jackson let them have a moment before leading Dave further down the hall. He deliberately took a long surreptitious route to his OR, making sure to pass by the ER offices, in the hopes of catching a glimpse of April at work. Sure enough, as they passed through, Jackson spotted his wife standing at a nurses station, pouring over an electronic chart. Looking both cute, and alluring all at the same time. She had her reindeer holiday scrub cab on, and a Santa Claus hat pinned to the lapel of her lab coat. Jackson grinned.

He held his hand out, pointing to her as he whispered to Dave, "That? The one with red hair? That is my wife, April. We've been married 15 years. We've got four kids. I love her more than she knows. But you could say we're 'interfacial'."

Dave's eyebrows knitted together, and he shrugged, "Uh, I don't...I don't understand. She's good looking."

"I think so, I think she is beautiful. But people might say that she looks a lot more ordinary than me, right?"

"I-I don't really wanna say."

"You can say it. I'm sure you wouldn't be the first person to say it."

Dave blinked and stammered, "I guess...I mean, yeah. She's pretty, but...you're..."

"Me," Jackson nodded. "And I'm Dawn."

"I-I don't really get what you are trying to say, Dr. Avery."

"She was you, man."

The patient looked puzzled, but he didn't reply. They watched April work from a distance for a little longer before Jackson moved them along, heading for pre-op. As they waited for the elevator, Jackson nudged the other man's shoulder.

"April thought that a girl like her didn't have a chance in hell with a guy like me. And it was more than looks. I'm from a prominent surgical family. She's from a farm. She didn't pass her board exam at the first sitting. I did. She felt like she was a mess."

He stared at the other man intently, raising his eyebrows for emphasis, "Ask me why I married her. Ask me. Why would a guy like me marry somebody like her?"

Dave swallowed, looking at his feet uncomfortably. "Why?"

"I think April is beautiful, but even if she wasn't, I would still have married her. Because she is one of the most warm and caring people I have ever met. She's smart and tough and doesn't realize how great she really is. She knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life without her. I couldn't imagine having children if she wasn't going to be their mother. I love her."

"But-"

The elevator doors slid open and Jackson took Dave's elbow and carefully lead him in to the empty carriage, "But nothing. It's about more than looks. I've been your Dawn, and I am telling you. It's about more, Dave."

They rode the short elevator ride from level one to level three in silence and then quietly walked in to pre-op. The nurses tutted Jackson for walking the patient in and he waved them off. Sure, it was unusual to have the lead attending surgeon take the patient to pre-op. Even more unheard of for a department head to do so. But Jackson was on a mission. He helped Dave hop up onto his gurney, and stayed near the bed as the man leaned back.

As they waited for Dave's anesthesia to be administered, Jackson asked quietly, "Can you think of any reasons why Dawn would want to marry you?"

Dave's eyes darted away from Jackson, blinking rapidly, "I...I guess she loves me?"

"I'd say she does," Jackson chuckled as the drugs were administered into Dave's arm. "You don't need to worry. She sees something more in you, man."

Dave swallowed, and his eyes fluttered as he resisted the urge to fall asleep. Jackson rose to his feet and leaned over the man's gurney, whispering one last thing before the patient slipped under. "She sees more in you, Dave. And you should too."

In the next instant, the patient was completely under. Jackson watched Dave for a moment before he left the room to go scrub in. He hoped that the man would take his point to heart. He hoped that Dave would understand that guys or girls like him really could end up with people like his fiance or Jackson himself. He knew first hand that it was possible. He knew he couldn't take away all of Dave's insecurity. He knew that the surgery wouldn't fix it. He knew his advice wouldn't fix it.

But Jackson had seen April slowly develop more self confidence. Bit by bit. Over years. He'd been by her side the whole time. So Jackson knew the importance of seeing possibility. Of hearing a different perspective from the one inside your head that said you weren't good enough. He hoped that he could be a small piece of that confidence building in Dave. He needed pieces.

Jackson had gotten his happily ever after with April, so if was possible for them, it possible for anyone.


	6. Chapter 6

_On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_To turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

"Ahhhh-ooow!" Hannah screamed as April struggled to run a comb through the little girl's unruly curls. She winced and froze immediately.

April leaned forward to kiss her daughter's cheek, "Sorry. I'm sorry. We're almost done."

It was almost bedtime. At least, it was almost Hannah's bedtime.

for the house in general, it was mid-bedtime, in the seemingly never ending series of staggered bedtimes that was the reality of having four children.

What a day it had been. Procedures performed. Charts finished. Resident's trained. Patients discharged. Children picked up. Dinner prepared and eaten. Homework was done. Riley had cleared the table. Conner had finished the dishes. Both the little kids had had their baths. Simon was already asleep.

Hannah was clad in her pajamas already and they were at the kitchen table trying to sort out her hair situation. Both Riley and Hannah's dark curls were beautiful, but they weren't easy to manage, and for some reason April found it particularly hard. It was frustrating. Because she was their mother.

They just had so much hair.

Luckily, Riley was beginning to take more interest and control of her own head of hair, but her younger daughter still needed help. April had talked to Catherine Avery and her sister in law. She'd read books. Watched videos online. She'd gotten advice from Meredith and even Zola. She'd watched Jackson closely when he worked whatever inexplicable magic he had on the girl's heads. April had greatly improved over the years, and she could do the girl's hair nearly as well as Jackson. She could make it look decent. But Jackson was still better at it than she was. And it bothered her.

"It's okay," Hannah mumbled, going back to playing with a pair of dolls in her lap.

Tonight Jackson wasn't here. He had an overnight shift at the hospital. It was a pretty rare occurrence these days. As attendings their schedules were much more in their control and predictable than they had been duding residency. It was only around once a month that either of them ended up needing to do an overnight shift. April preferred for their children to never be without at least one parent at dinner and bedtimes, and more often than not Jackson took more than his share of the night shifts, allowing her to do the evening routine with the kids. Because she was better at bedtime. Or so Jackson teased.

He was just that kind of husband.

And for the life of her, April still couldn't think of a non-Nike thing to get him. All the immediate thoughts that came to mind like ties and shaving kits and all of that, just seemed so...ordinary. And Jackson was anything but ordinary.

Finishing the last braid, April ran her hands through the newly combed hair one last time before tapping Hannah's shoulder, "All done."

Hannah spun around in her chair and held the little dolls up for inspection, "Me too."

"Good job, they both look amazing," April said, chuckling at the crazy barrette filled hairdos both dolls sported. "But it's your bedtime now."

Swinging her feet, Hannah rolled her eyes and shuffled to the floor, absentmindedly sticking her finger in her mouth, "My tooth is gonna fall out soon, Mommy."

"Oh really? Let me see," April knelt down in front of the girl as she opened her mouth and peered at Hannah's very loose front tooth.

"I wanna lose it on Christmas Eve and then Santa and the Tooth Fairy can visit at the same time and then be friends!"

"That sounds nice," April laughed gathering up combs and hair supplies and following her daughter upstairs to her room.

"Uh huh," Hannah nodded, clamoring into bed and flopping down. "And then I'd get all the money and my presents. And peanut brittle."

"Ah, so you are being greedy?"

The girl giggled, "A little, but not mean."

"And where does this peanut brittle come from?"

"Gramma."

"You might not be able to eat it as well if you lose that tooth."

Hannah shook her head, "I can always eat peanut brittle."

"I know," April leaned down and kissed the top of her daughter's head. "But your tooth will fall out when it's ready. Goodnight Hannah. I love you."

"I love you too, Mama."

And so the night went on.

An hour later April was kissing Riley goodnight, leaving the room with a gentle warning not to read Harry Potter under the covers with a flashlight for too much longer. She spent the rest of her evening curled up on the couch in the living room on the internet surfing furiously and wracking her brain for something new and original to give her husband for a gift. By 10pm, she felt that she as no closer to finding something than she had been before. Maybe the real reason she'd given Jackson a brand new pair of Nike's every year was because she was just too lazy or uninspired or lacked the creativity to figure something out.

How had April's mother managed to shop for her father for 40 years? Oh, how she wished she could call her mother now, and get some sort of insight into what to do. Or if she could just call her dad and see what he had to say. With a sudden pang, April sniffed, realizing just how much she missed them. That much more so that it was the holidays.

"I am a terrible wife," April sighed, looking at the drowsy cat next to her on the couch. "I can't even think of something different to give Jackson. All I can think about is Nike's, Nike's Nike's."

Zootsuit blinked up at her, purring loudly.

"Do you have anything useful to contribute?"

The cat yawned, and April gave him a gentle chin scratch.

"You don't mind getting the same set of mice year after year, do you?"

Zootsuit rolled over, allowing April to pet his soft belly.

"Do you even care?"

Yes, she was talking to a cat like he was a person. In a baby voice no less. Oh, well.

Giving the little cat one last scratch, April pulled herself to her feet. Maybe it was time to call it a night. She lifted the sleepy cat from his place on the couch and quietly made her way up stairs, careful as she walked past the three younger children's bedrooms. A sliver of light shone from around her oldest son's door, so April paused and knocked gently.

"Come in," Conner answered, and April cracked the door.

Her son was laying on his bed flicking at his ipad screen, but he sat up and smiled when he saw his mother in the doorway.

"What are you up too Con-Man?"

"Uh...well, I was just-" he fumbled. "See...I'm having trouble with..."

"With what?"

The teen's grin turned sheepish, "You won't believe me."

"Try me," April pushed, perching herself on the edge of Conner's bed, and letting the cat scramble over to her son's side.

"Well...I'm sort of Christmas shopping."

April feigned shock, "You hate shopping! How many whiny, complaining, 'I don't want to use any of my allowance money, can't I just sign the card for your gift, Mom' years have I had to twist your arm to bother with any of this?"

"I know, I know. Many."

Conner laughed, and it made April's heart swell, because his laugh, like his voice, still hovered in that odd in between space. Not as high and childlike as it once had been, but not as fully developed and deep as it would no doubt become in the future. It was a sign of his age. As was his new found interest in actually doing holiday shopping. He really was growing up.

"So how's it going?"

"Pretty good actually," Conner replied eagerly, leaning forward and showing her the screen of his ipad, "I am on target to stay in my budget. I've got Gramma and Granpa covered. And Dad and Simon and Hannah. I think I know what I am going to get Riley. It's just you, and Mmm-"

He stopped abruptly, swallowing hard and drawing the flat piece of technology to his chest. Conner added hastily, "Just you left. But it's no big deal, really..."

'Mmm' could only be one person. Mei Grey-Shepherd. Sure, April was a little in awe of how quickly her oldest baby was growing up, but she wasn't completely ignorant of his little crush. To be honest, Conner was about as obvious and as hapless as April herself had been in high school when it came to romance. His experience of course was a little different, because he was both better with people and better looking than she had ever been as a teenager.

And so far as April could tell, Mei seemed to be crushing on Conner a bit as well. She and Meredith had chatted about it over lunch occasionally. Cristina thought it was hilarious. Meredith thought it was ironic. It worried April a little. Mer thought that teenagers would be teenagers, and that their unspoken and unaddressed crushing on each other was cute. All April knew of teenage romance was heartache, but it didn't seem like things were headed that way between Conner and Mei at this point in time. In fact, neither party even seemed to have told the other how they felt at all.

Knowing that Conner probably wasn't super comfortable talking about any of this with his mother, April choose to drive right on by his last words, answering, "Oh honey, you know I don't need anything."

"That's very helpful, Mom," Conner said sarcastically. "Really. Solves all my problems."

April laughed. It was true; she had everything she could ever want. But it wasn't exactly a useful thing to tell people. Playing with the frayed edge of her shirt, she continued, "I'm not faring much better, I have no idea what to get your Dad."

Conner scoffed, "There's a box of Air Jordan's sitting in the laundry room pantry right now, with Hannah's doll and-"

"How do you know where I hide my Christmas presents?"

He crossed his arms and deadpanned, "I was a very curious child."

"Hmm..." April huffed suspiciously, wondering if he had found her alternate stash (in the attic), and had already seen his own gift. "Well, I might be changing Dad's gift up this year."

"Why?" Conner looked surprised. "Dad's easy to shop for. He loves Nike's. And basketball."

"I know he does..." April just shrugged. "It's just...I always get him a pair of shoes. He might be wanting something different."

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Especially since you already got the sneakers," Conner reasoned logically. "I mean, why add another worry?"

Maybe the teen did have a point, but April couldn't shake the fear that her tried and true method of Jackson shopping might be boring him. She reached out and squeezed Conner's arm.

"Maybe you're right...I don't know," she looked at him pointedly. "I do know that it is never easy to shop for people you care deeply about. There's always that fear of disappointing them. But you have to keep trying."

Conner's eyes dropped to his lap and he ducked his head, knowing that her words ran beyond her situation with finding a gift for his father, "Uh...right. Thanks, Mom. Really."

April stood up and moved toward the door, leaving Conner on his bed with the cat, "I'm going to bed. You can stay up another thirty minutes, but then it's lights out, okay?"

"Alright. Night, Mom."

April made her way into the master bed room and readied herself for sleep, feeling as though all the weariness of her long day was finally catching up with her. It felt so good to lay down and be off of her feet for a while, and April felt herself falling asleep nearly as soon as her head hit the pillow. Further proof of just how tired she was. Normally, falling asleep without Jackson by her side was difficult for April.

She was drifting in and out of sleep when she heard her door creak open, and a small weight climbed into the bed. Too small to be Jackson anyway, but too big to be Zooty.

Simon.

April opened her eyes a fraction of an inch, "Hey...you were asleep..."

The little boy didn't answer right away, and curled his small body next to hers. He mumbled, almost incoherently into her shoulder, "Mama, I'm cold."

Then, as though by the flick of a switch, Simon's body relaxed and his breathing suddenly evened out. The next moment he started to snore softly with his mouth hanging slightly open.

April shifted, pulling his legs under the covers, and wrapping her arms around him. Normally, she might have insisted that he stick to the routine and go back to sleeping in his own bed. It was a school night after all. Even if he was only in kindergarten. There were standards to maintain. But tonight she felt differently.

April was willing to let Simon stay. As she'd learned with her other children, he would only be this little for a short time. Why not enjoy him? Plus, it was kind of cold, and she was really tired from work. And most draining of all, April was still completely out of ideas for Jackson's Christmas gift.

Then suddenly, it hit her. Hannah had needed help with her hair. Conner had sought her help with his holiday shopping. Simon had sought warmth. Sometimes you just needed a mom.

April might not be able to call her own mother and get advice on Jackson' present. But she could call Jackson's mother. She'd know what to get her son. April could talk to Catherine Avery.


	7. Chapter 7

_On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Seven swans a swimming,_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_Two turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

Jackson sat in the car fingering the lose sole on the bottom of his sneaker, as his oldest son nervously drove around the streets of Seattle in the evening light.

"Your gonna want to put your signal on now," he said casually, as they approached an intersection.

"I have to get over, don't I?"

Conner's forehead was wrinkled in deep concentration and he gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. The car revved and sped forward, approaching the turn in the left lane.

"Conner," Jackson continued more firmly than before. "You have to put the turn signal on."

"Oh. Right," The teenager, blinked reaching out and flicking the left signal on. The car came to a complete stop and they waited patiently as the cross traffic whizzed past. "Sorry, Dad."

"It's okay...just remember you have to do it in advance of the changing lanes," Jackson said calmly.

"Y-yes. I know. I can," Conner nodded, biting his lower lip and leaning forward in his seat, and looking for all the world like a little old lady peering out from behind a giant steering wheel.

Jackson almost laughed. He'd never have guessed. His own son was a nervous driver. As bad as April. As bad as his mother. And even worse than that, the kid drove with the same posture as Catherine Avery too. It wasn't exactly the best way for his son to garner cool points. Getting a license was one thing, but driving like an old lady was entirely something else.

"You can lean back, bud," Jackson encouraged. "Relax."

Conner sighed and leaned back in his seat, glancing quickly at the passenger seat and then back to the signal. As the light turned green, the car lurched forward, tires spinning briefly on the slick Seattle street. Jackson winced and tightly gripped the door handle as the car peeled around the corner. The car whizzed along and Jackson worked to stay relaxed. For some reason, tonight Conner seemed more anxious than usual.

"Easy," he said as calmly as possible. "You don't need to gun it. Especially with this rain and ice. Remember what I said: just gently press the gas. Gently."

"Sorry, Dad."

They'd been driving around for an hour, circling blocks and driving on small streets in their neighborhood, and luckily they were almost home. Conner guided the car home and into the driveway without further incident, though he didn't seem any less relaxed than he had for the rest of the drive either.

When the car engine stopped, Jackson reached a hand to his son's wrist before the teen could exit the car, "Something on your mind?"

Conner groaned and scratched the side of his head, staring resolutely out of the front window. When he didn't reply right away, Jackson leaned back and recrossed his leg, going back to messing with the loose bottom, waiting the teenager out. He didn't mind. Sometimes you had to wait it out with kids. They didn't always want to say what was on their minds.

Jackson was happy to do it. He was happy to take the time with his kids, even when it took time for them to open up. He'd never had anytime like this with his own father. Or with his mother and grandfather. His kids were lucky that he was different.

Pulling at the plastic flap on the bottom of his shoe, Jackson sighed. He'd have a hole in his shoe soon. No matter. He knew he could count on a fresh pair courtesy of his wife in a matter of days.

Finally words began to fall from Conner's lips in a rush, as though he had been bursting to say them, "Well, I...I decided I wanted to get my own gifts for everyone this year, and...and I got one for Mei today, because it's cool and I saw it and it looked just like something she'd like at the shop, but now I bought it and I feel stupid. I'm afraid she'll think it's dumb because it is kind of dumb. I mean, it's not really special or anything. It's lame and funny and weird. But it's not like I have any better ideas, or enough money to buy her something really great, and even if I did it would be awkward because-because..."

Conner finally turned his head to look at Jackson and he mumbled softly, "Because I...I think I like her."

Jackson internally held his tongue from saying something sarcastic. Everyone and their mothers knew that Conner had a little crush on Mei Grey-Shepherd. No, literally, their mothers. Both Meredith and April were fully aware of the blush that crept into the teens cheeks whenever the younger Grey-Shepherd sister was in close proximity. He just nodded and waited for his son to continue.

And Conner did, "But I don't even know if she likes me back. We're just friends. And that's okay, because...I mean, I don't even really know how much I like her cuz it's not like getting her a Christmas gift means I want to marry her or something..."

"Whoa, whoa," Jackson interrupted, leaning closer to Conner. "Alright, I get it. It's complicated. But don't over think things at this stage, okay?"

The teenager deflated a little bit, letting out a small sigh.

"What did you get Mei?" Jackson continued.

"Uh," Conner bit his lip and then reached back to his school bag in the back seat. "It's really lame..."

He rummaged around before pulling out a small book. Conner sniffed sheepishly and pushed the gift in to Jackson's arms.

A broad smile slowly made it's way across Jackson's face. The book was funny. It was called  _How to Speak Wookie: A Manual for Intergalactic Communication._  He snorted. It was pretty amusing gift, but somehow he knew that his son's instincts had been spot on.  _  
_

The deep frown on his face indicated that Conner didn't seem to agree so Jackson asked, "Why did you pick this?"

"See, she likes Star Wars and last summer we did that marathon with Megan she also liked to kind of make jokes about it and...I just thought the book was funny, but I don't know."

Jackson handed the book back to his son, "This is a good gift."

"Really? How can you tell?"

Tilting his head to one side, Jackson pondered how to explain. It was mostly a gut feeling, but there were reasons behind it, "It shows that you know her well, and you want to make her laugh. I don't think Mei would hate that at all. Can't really ask for more."

Thinking of his own unusual gift for his wife, Jackson supposed he had a point. A pig nativity would probably make April laugh, and it certainly showed that he knew her well. He felt a bit better. Maybe this was the year to give sweet gifts, and not grandiose ones.

"This is a good gift," Jackson repeated. "And it really is the thought that matters the most anyway. Getting any present shows that the person who gave it to you gives a damn."

"Is that why you like getting Nike's from Mom year after year?"

"Of course...and it means I never have to remember to get new one's myself when the old ones wear out," he waggled his eyebrows. " _Very_ handy."

"So far," Conner smirked.

"Yep," Jackson nodded, still aware of his son's anxiety over the whole gift giving thing. It was actually really cool. His kid was growing up to be a better high schooler than he'd ever been. Especially with girls. "I bet Mei will think that's pretty cool."

"I hope so," Conner sighed, looking to his knees.

"If it doesn't work," Jackson teased, knowing his word would embarrass his son. "You could always just distract her from the gift with a little mistletoe."

" _Dad!_ " Conner huffed, jamming the book back into his bag and flinging open the door. "I was being serious!"

"So am I. You can impress her by telling her the Greek meaning!" Jackson laughed and called after the teenager as he fled from the car and into the house.

The kid was so easy to wind up, sometimes. Jackson just couldn't resist. He was still laughing when he finally followed Conner into the house.

The teenager had already retreated to his room upstairs, and Jackson found April in the kitchen with Simon and Hannah at the table, supervising their last little bit of homework before the holiday break. The minute she saw him, April rushed up to Jackson and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Thank God you are both safe."

Kissing his wife's cheek, Jackson balked, "Come on. If you act like he's returning from a war zone every time he drives the car, you going to give him a complex."

"Driving is one of the most dangerous things you can do," April countered. "The leading cause of death for young adults ages 18-25-"

"Alright," Jackson held up his hands in defeat. It wasn't the first time he had stats quoted at him. "Alright. I know. But he has to learn."

April frowned and ran her hand along Jackson's shoulder, "Maybe. I'm still going to worry though."

"Conner really has gotten much better at driving. You could probably handle it now," Jackson pulled away and leaned over Hannah's shoulder, squinting at her homework.

April did the same for Simon and shook her head, "I don't think so."

Remembering the first and last time April had gotten in a car with her oldest son behind the wheel, Jackson shuddered. She was probably right. It freaked both of them out.

"What do we have going on here?" Jackson asked his younger daughter. "Need me to look it over?"

"Spelling" Hannah replied, covering her paper and glancing up at her father. "I can do it myself, Daddy."

"Oh yes," April said knowingly. "That is apparently not an assignment she wants help with, Jackson."

Fine. That's that then, Jackson rapped his fingers on the table, and looked across to April and Simon.

"Daddy, I had to write a story about a moose!" Simon explained. "Three whole sentences and a picture!"

April's eyes glanced up from her quick proof reading, "It's quite a thrilling read. He ends up in a moose hospital."

That made Jackson smile. He loved doing all this stuff. Homework with the kids, driving, giving advice and all that. Sure, no one had had any homework in kindergarten when he was Simon's age, and no one had been around to offer to check his spelling when he was Hannah's age, but he was more than happy to do it all now for his own children. Some people might think it was a chore or hectic or annoying, but he loved it.

Jackson's good mood faded however, when he heard the next words April spoke.

"I called your mother while you were gone."

She was deliberately not looking at him, instead focusing on the paper in front of her. No way it takes that long to read three sentences. Jackson's jaw tensed. April and his mother were probably up to no good.

"What did she say?"

"Oh, not much," April replied dismissively. "She was about to run off to a charity event anyway. We just settled the plans for tomorrow night."

Jackson couldn't help but roll his eyes. Hannah giggled and poked his leg.

"What plans?"

He didn't want to have plans with his mother. Jackson had seen her just last week. He was already set to see her again when she came over to his home on Christmas Day for lunch. He loved her, but he thought that that love had a direct mathematical relationship to their time spent apart.

"We're going to see the Zoo lights with Gramma!" Simon shouted slapping his hands on the table in anticipation. "And my friend Dexter said he went and there is a camel you can ride too! And the trees are all pretty and you get to see the night-tural animals and we might even see the day-turnal ones too, while they are sleepin' and it's gonna be so cool..."

Jackson narrowed his eyes, and watched his wife. She still wasn't looking at him. Real smooth. Tell the kids about it before him. Get them all excited and amped up to go...

"It'll be fun," April said finally. "A fun family night for everyone. A nice way for the kids to start of break."

"Sure," Jackson repeated. "Fun..."

Watching her, he was almost suspicious that there was more to all this. If April had really wanted to go to Zoo Lights with the kids they could have just gone as a family unit of their own. It wasn't like they wouldn't be seeing plenty of his mother during the holiday. Why add an extra event? Just to get on his nerves in all likelihood.

Looking up suddenly, April sighed and rolled her eyes, "Just suck it up! Honestly."

Hannah shook her head and dead panned, "Honestly, Daddy."

Simon nodded, "It's only Gramma."

Then again, maybe he was being too harsh. Jackson knew that April missed her own parents very much, and she didn't hesitate to tell him that he should appreciate having his mother around to be in both his and their children's lives.

She pushed her chair back and pushed to her feet giving Jackson that glare that glare that he knew so well. April had her hands on her hips and he couldn't help but let his eyes give her the once over. He held his head up on the table with one hand and grinned, momentarily forgetting his confusion over her need to plan additional family moments with Catherine Avery. April always became that much more hot when she got a little angry. Something about the way her cheeks flushed or how she wouldn't give in. It made her more confident. More sexy.

Maybe Jackson only liked it because seeing April slightly pissed off brought him back to that fateful night in San Francisco. It just...hot.

April seemed to notice the shift in his mood, because when she moved past him on the way to the kitchen she paused and ran an electrifying hand down Jackson's back, leaning down to whisper in his ear.

"I can totally make this worth your while if you stop complaining."

Jackson smirked, turning his head to capture April's lips.

"What? Who's complaining? Not me."

 


	8. Chapter 8

_On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Eight maids a milking,_

_Seven swans a swimming,_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_Two turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

April glanced at the clock on the far side of the OR and then across her open patient to where Alex and Meredith trying to hold in her amusement at the conversation unfolding in front of her. This was her last case of the day, before she got to go and meet her family at the zoo. And of course her colleagues were chattering away in the OR. Like usual. April supposed, after all these years, she shouldn't be surprised.

They had a patient to work on, for goodness sake. Granted, their patient, a 12 year old girl who'd had a minor sledding accident up on Rainer, was very stable, and probably wasn't in imminent danger as they repaired her internal injuries. And they were almost finished. Still, April had never been as fond of chatting away in the OR as some of her colleagues.

"It freaking sucks," Alex grumbled. "My own kid said I had salt and pepper hair! Salt and pepper. What kind of color is that? She really just means I am going gray! Me! With gray hair."

"It could be worse," April added helpfully. "You could be going bald..."

All her attempt earned her was a chuckle from Meredith and a glare from Karev. He scowled and snapped at the resident working by April's side, "Suction please!"

The resident gulped and quickly jumped into action, clearly startled by the tone in Alex's voice. They'd learn eventually. All the residents did. Along April herself. For some reason it some people longer than others, but eventually everyone who worked at Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital learned that Dr. Alex Karev's bark was worse than his bite. He was a good, though occasionally grumpy attending, but beneath that gruff exterior he had a heart of gold. You just had to look deep.

April swallowed, remembering her own journey with Alex.

Really, really deep.

"You could just try hair dye," Meredith said reasonably from behind her surgical mask. "I mean, we all do it. Right April?"

April blinked rapidly, and glanced down at the patient, shrugging her shoulders after a moment. There wasn't really that much use in denying it after all. It certainly wouldn't have escaped her co-workers notice that every now again she experimented with her shade of red. Still, it wasn't exactly something she felt comfortable talking about in front of scrub nurses, anesthesiologists, and residents either.

"Right..." she mumbled.

"I mean, hell Lisa probably does it," Meredith continued as she carefully threaded together the damaged portions of their young patient's intestine. "Haven't you noticed? I bet you she dyes."

"That doesn't make me feel better, Mer."

"I bet Jackson dyes his hair."

"Meredith!" April shuddered indignantly. There was no reason to drag Jackson in to this, especially when she knew her husband would probably get a good ribbing over the whole issue from their sullen friend.

But Alex only shrugged, "Avery would."

April opened her mouth, snapping to Jackson's defense, but Alex continued glumly, "It's not so much that I am actually going gray, it's that my kid thinks I am old. Megan thinks I am older than the freaking Kanye West. "

Best not to point out that he was, in fact, older than the former musical star.

"She's thirteen," Meredith shrugged.

"She thinks everyone over 20 is old," April agreed.

"Freaking kids..."

The rest of the surgery went smoothly, but April couldn't help but think about that single fact. Once she had been incredibly young and naive. Arguably she'd held on to that quality (in more than the biblical sense) for a lot longer than most, but it was a fact that her teenage son thought that she was old. Had said as much in fact. The thing was though, April didn't really feel like she'd changed that much at all.

Sure she'd gotten over a lot of her hang ups. And yes, April thought she could safely say that she was more confident than in her youth. Since becoming a mother she'd learned that she could handle a lot more than she ever thought she could. All of these things made her different, but she didn't think it made her feel anymore wise in age. Maybe it was just her.

After all, April mused, pulling her car into the parking lot of the Woodland Park Zoo, she needed help with Jackson's gift. In fact, she was on her way to an event which she had primarily organized for the sole purpose of obtaining advice from someone who she deemed to be more wise. Catherine Avery was nothing if not wise.

Even so, April was beginning to think that adulthood was really a myth. Like most people kind of hit their stride at about 16 and stayed themselves the rest of the way. Walking the walk and talking the talk in some idealized constructed version of adulthood, but really being the same inside. Faking it until they made it. Not that that was a bad thing really. It was certainly working for April.

Strolling into the darkened Zoo, April spoke to Jackson on the phone, as she admired the lights. He, the children, and Catherine and Richard had arrived in advance while she finished her shift and had already started looking around at all the animals and light displays.

By the slightly strained sound in her husband's voice, April could tell that Jackson was feeling a tad stressed at the presence of his mother. She should probably figure out where they are and meet up with them soon. Before any blood was shed.

"Where are you guys?" April asked brightly, after listening to Jackson's 5th frustrated sigh.

"By the camels," Jackson moaned. "Well, Mom, me, and Simon. Riley, Hannah, and Conner are with Richard somewhere. We last saw them by the Serengeti enclosure..."

He paused, then sighed, "My mother is causing a big scene, trying to see if we can get Simon to jump the line and ride one early and I am about ready to-"

"Jackson," April soothed, glancing at a sign and walking briskly to the camel rides. "You know she means well. I'm almost there. I'll take her off your hands for a bit."

It wasn't long before April rounded a corner and found the line. And just in the nick of time. Her husband and mother in law were standing at the end of the line both with their arms crossed, facing slightly away from each other. Catherine had her lips pursed, and Jackson's forehead was set in a deep scowl. The very nick of time.

April smiled as she saw the figure between them, Simon her bright shining little boy, who grinned when he saw her and ran into her arms with his hands spread out wide.

"Mama! I'm gonna ride a camel! A real one, with real humps and everything!"

As opposed to an imaginary one with no humps, of course.

"Wow. Very exciting. Big life moment."

"Yes."

April gave him a kiss and displayed her toothiest grin, as she allowed her little boy to lead her back to the line where Jackson and Catherine were deeply engaged in a little Avery family cold war. Very adult indeed.

Simon pulled her to their side just as Jackson muttered under his breath, "Just because you are a member the Zoo charity doesn't mean we should get special treatment-"

"Honey that is exactly what it means," Catherine replied. "That is the whole point of being a member."

Jackson crossed his arms, "We can wait in line like everyone else, Mom."

"I pay enough money to their board, we ought to be treated like the family of Sultan of Brunei."

"Well we're not," Jackson snapped, gesturing down to Simon as the boy's head whipped back and forth between his father and grandmother. "We want our children growing up without the expectation of getting special treatment everywhere they-"

"He's an Avery, the reality is, that he will always get special-"

April knew that Jackson got touchy about family reputation and all of that. She had a slight different perspective of course. Her family were all farmers. A slightly lower class than surgeons. Catherine Avery's point held as much weight as Jackson's. Bottom line in April's mind was that children couldn't help being who they were, but that didn't mean they should always expect to have and to take advantages of being privileged. That was the way she'd decided to raise her children with Jackson, and so far April thought they'd been pretty successful. The four kids knew manners, were pretty humble, and didn't demand extra treatment.

But Catherine Avery had spent most of her life as a renown urologist who did get special treatment. And it was well earned. April could't fault that. Jackson just needed to learn to pick his battles. He never seemed to have developed that skill when it came to his mother.

"Hi!" April said, deciding to make her presence known, before poor Simon got whiplash from trying to listen along.

Both Jackson and Catherine turned to greet her, giving April a kiss and an embrace. April eyed them somewhat wearily.

"Oh, don't worry, baby," Catherine said breezily, using one hand in a dismissive gesture. "Jackson and I are just having an intellectual disagreement. Everything will be fine when Jackson figures out I am right."

Jackson's jaw tensed and he was about to snap, but Simon's voice and tug on his hand stopped his reaction, "Daddy, the line is moving."

They all dutifully shuffled forward with the rest of the line, April decided to cool things off before a real fight got underway. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Catherine's elbow, guiding her away from the line.

"How about you and Daddy wait here in line for the camel, and Gramma and I go get us all some hot chocolate?" Her voice left no room for argument and thankfully neither Jackson, nor Simon, nor Catherine disagreed.

Her mother in law quickly fell into step next to April as they headed to the vending area a few yards away from the camel line. They arrived, only to join another line, for the coffee cart. Standing quietly, April couldn't help but glance her mother in laws direction several times. She knew it made things awkward. But she just didn't know where to start.

In general, April had a very good relationship with Catherine Avery. But that didn't mean that the older woman didn't still intimidate April a bit. More than a bit.

"Honey, you look like you just ate the worst dinner of your life," Catherine remarked calmly, after they ordered the warm beverages and as they waited for their order. "Now are you just going to stand there, looking at me like I am about to see something nasty, or you can fess up and explain the real reason you arranged this lovely outing."

April gaped and struggled to reply.

"Because you know I love spending time with my grand-babies, but for you this whole night was a little too impromptu."

Catherine was nothing, if not wise.

April shrugged and looked at her feet, "Well, I did think we'd all have fun, but I also wanted to talk to you about something..."

Her mother in law nodded, and silently waited for April to continue.

"See, I...I have been having some trouble with Jackson's gift this year-"

Catherine guffawed, "Did Nike go out of business and everyone forgot to tell me?"

"Um. No," April shrugged again, reaching out to collect two of the finished hot chocolates from the vendor. "I just...I get him the same thing every year. I don't want him to get bored with me. I want to give him something that he really loves."

"I have known the boy his whole life," the older woman shook her head. "If there is one thing he always loves, it's his sneakers."

The tone of voice made April laugh, despite her concerns. She'd always thought it was funny, when they were residents, how Catherine always refered to herself and Jackson as kids. Babies. Boy or girl, even though they were fully grown adults. Now that April was a mother herself, she totally understood. Simon Avery could be 50 years old, and to April he would still be her baby boy.

"Okay," she conceded. "I know Jackson likes getting sneakers. I just...I might want to get him something else. Just to make sure he got what he really wanted. Do you have any ideas?"

Catherine grabbed the other two finished beverages and threw her head back in laughter, "Honey, you give him exactly what he wants every single day."

Not expecting the conversation to turn to what April feared this particular topic covered, she gagged on the sip of hot chocolate she had just taken, "Uh...I'm sorry what?"

"Not  _that_  baby," Catherine corrected, not bothered at all. "Although, if you are really out of ideas, I'm sure you could think of quite a few  _special_ bedroom things he might love. Richard and I have-"

"I really don't need that mental image," April interrupted. Really, she didn't. Jackson and her bedroom really shouldn't be spoken about in the same breath as anything Catherine and Richard did.

Laughing again the older woman shook her head, "What I meant was this: You have already given Jackson everything he could ever want. Your gift to him is four beautiful children, your loyalty and your love. The shoes, and the fact that you know he likes them, are just a bonus."

"Really?"

"A family like this is all he ever wanted," Catherine said, turning pensive. "After his father died, I had to work double hard to keep up my career and the Avery reputation Triple hard because I was a woman. I know I didn't always give my boys the childhood they might have liked."

"Jackson and Parker grew up to be wonderful men," April countered sympathetically. It was hard to work and be a parent. And she couldn't imagine having to tackle the job with her own family, without Jackson by her side. She always told Jackson not to judge his mother too harshly.

"The point is, because of you, my baby gets to be a part of the kind of life he wanted back then. And that is the greatest gift he could ever get."

The older woman nudged April's shoulder, "Don't fret too much about his present, honey. He'll love what ever you give him."

"Right..." April said uncertainly. Catherine 's point made her think. Maybe she didn't have to get him something else. Maybe Nike sneakers really could say 'I love you'. She'd really never looked at her life with Jackson from quite that perspective before. And from another angle, Jackson had given her just as much.

"But if you really don't go with the shoes, remind Jackson to get a new pair soon," Catherine added.

They continued in unison and laughed, "This pair is getting a hole."

As they neared Jackson and Simon, who had advanced far in the line, April leaned over conspiratorially and whispered, "But seriously...no suggestions?"

"I am getting Richard a tie."

April wrinkled her nose. That wasn't terribly original.

"Don't you judge," Catherine scolded in her ear. "I found it on the interweb. A wooden bow tie! Who knew they made them?"

"I didn't."

"I suppose matching gifts are out?"

April was certain that, while in theory Jackson might get a kick out of a wooden tie, the fact that his pseudo step father had the same novelty item would just not be okay. Another year of Nike's beat that for sure. And after talking to Catherine, April didn't feel quite so insecure about the pair of shoes she'd bought already. Perhaps she should just stick to her original plan. It was both practical and sentimental. The shoes hadn't failed her in 15 years.

"I think they definitely are out of the question," April shook her head.

 


	9. Chapter 9

_On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Nine ladies dancing,_

_Eight maids a milking,_

_Seven swans a swimming,_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_Two turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

Jackson yawned, and recrossed his legs on the large master bed, folding the edges of brightly colored wrapping paper around an oddly shaped box of hot wheels. Next to him, his wife sat, expertly wrapping present after present.

It was the middle of the night. They always wrapped their children's gifts shut up in their rooms in the middle of the night. April said it was the only way to assure maximum secrecy when if came to what gifts they'd gotten the kids. Jackson didn't think it was that big of a deal. but to her it mattered, so here he was at 11pm wrapping toys in bed when there were so many other things he'd rather be doing in this very same bed.

Sleeping for one thing.

_Not_  sleeping too.

"Tape, please," April said, almost robotically holding out her hand to him, never taking her eyes from the gift in front of her.

When he slapped the plastic container into her palm, she expertly ripped off small pieces and finished wrapping the gift, facing it on the floor beside the bed, and starting to wrap a new object. Jackson looked back at his gift and held back another yawn. In the space of time it had taken him to do this once wrap job, April had completed 4 and counting.

Taking the tape back, Jackson pressed a strip down along the edge of his box, belatedly realizing that he'd miscalculated somewhere along the line, and that the folds didn't quite line up. He didn't think it gave away what the present was, and he was certain Simon wouldn't notice it.

"Tissue paper," April asked, holding her hand out again, having moved onto yet another gift. He was now being out paced 5 to 1.

Jackson searched through the array of supplied laid out around them on the bed, grinning when he finally found the requested object and pressed it into her hand. There was the smallest possibility that April might be ahead of him, simply because he supplied her with all the tools she asked for, but Jackson still thought that she would be doing better than him at wrapping regardless. It was an organization thing.

"When you retire you should work at Penny's or somewhere part time, just wrapping gifts," Jackson teased, blithely, watching her out of the corner of his eye and nudging her shoulder playfully.

"Work?" April asked skeptically, still continuing to wrap the gifts. "Who says I have to work?"

"Second career?"

"At JC Penny's? Um...no. Retirement is supposed to be the end of careers in general, as far as I thought."

Jackson shook his head, "I know you. You'll want to keep busy."

April pursed her lips and shrugged, "Maybe. Your mother keeps busy, with charity stuff. I could just take a page from her book."

"Please don't," Jackson laughed. "The last thing I need to get stuck with in old age is a red-haired version of my mother."

"Ha!" she through her head back in laughter. "If there is one thing you  _don't_ need to worry about it's that Jackson. There is no one on earth who is quite like your mother."

"Thank God. I doubt the planet could handle more then one."

"Probably not...still...your mother loves you very much. And she isn't as bad as you make out."

"I know," Jackson nodded sheepishly. "And I know how lucky I am to have her still around. But even you have to admit it, April. She can be a little too much sometimes."

"Better too much than too little."

"Yeah."

April spied Jackson's wrap job and picked up the gift, pointing to his mistake, "You can see the logo on this."

"Hey, I do what I can do," he smiled, scooting over on the bed, moving to sit behind April and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Maybe I should just hand you stuff? I am really good at that. Come on..."

"Fine."

April sighed dramatically and Jackson stretched his legs down on either side of hers, letting his chin rest on her shoulder. She leaned back against his chest, and Jackson closed his eyes for a moment, letting the familiar scent of April's shampoo fill his nostrils. The position was strangely reminiscent of the hours of labor he'd spent by his wife's side on four different occasions.

Four different times. Four amazing kids. Whose gifts they happened to be wrapping at this very moment. On a whole, Jackson still found it all to be incredibly cool. He smirked and playfully patted his hand on April's belly.

"Remember when Hannah was born?"

"Vividly."

"We sat like this when your back hurt."

"We did, yes. It was very helpful," April nodded. "Deja vu?"

Jackson sighed, "A bit...I just...that was one of the best days of my life. When Conner and Simon and Riley were born too. You...you were great."

"If you say so..." April shrugged. "I seem to remember a lot of swearing and a lot of tears."

"It was perfect though," he continued. "They were perfect and you were perfect, and I just-"

"Feeling broody, are we?"

Jackson shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe a little. Simon's in school now. They are all in school! Who'd have thought we'd ever be able to say that."

"Scissors," April said, and he handed her the requested item. "I thought the day that they were all safely in school was the day we were holding out for?"

"I know. I'm just saying; we make really great kids."

She leaned back even more and laced her fingers through Jackson's, "Well, if you are willing to carry baby number 5, then I am all for it. Otherwise, I think those days have passed."

Jackson laughed, and nodded, "I don't think medical science is quite there yet, but I'll keep that in mind."

He was silent again, as he watched April continue to wrap the last of the children's presents. Jackson felt so blessed to have this life. He really was. He'd never thought he'd end up being happy with both his career and his personal life. Not with what happened with his father and mother. Not with the sometimes overwhelming pressure from his grandfather about 'being an Avery'. Not with every painful break up he'd had in days past.

When the gifts were finished, Jackson followed April, carefully tiptoeing down stairs and depositing the pile of presents under the tree.

And the thing was, if he really thought about it, everything could have gone so differently. That night in San Francisco might have ended very differently if April hadn't punched that idiot in the bar. If she hadn't have kissed him outside of her room afterwards. It the plane crash had never happened. If they have never talked about it.

After they had cleaned up all the wrapping supplies and were crawling into bed, Jackson rested his elbow on his pillow and walked April as she lay back next to him. He smiled and continued to stare intently. Now, it all just seemed so inevitable, him being with April. All those barriers and fears he'd had, over losing their friendship, over his past, her religion, her inexperience, and the virginity everything else, just seemed unimportant. Not big enough things to stop them from being together.

April turned on her side and looked puzzled, "What are you looking at?"

"You."

She yawned and blushed, "Well, do it while you can. I'm about to turn out the light."

"Spoil sport."

"How am I a spoil sport? You are the one whose spent the last hour yawning and practically falling asleep. I thought you'd be happy to go to bed."

"My view is just so nice," Jackson mumbled. "It makes sleeping seem so overrated "

April bit her lip, and scooted closer to Jackson under the covers and wrapping her leg around his, "I guess so."

He reached out and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, and asked seriously, "Do you ever think about where we'd be if you'd never punched that idiot in the bar at boards?"

Her brow furrowed and she blinked, obviously surprised by his question, "I-I don't know. I probably wouldn't have kissed you...and then we-we wouldn't have-

"Made love."

"And then...I probably wouldn't have bombed my boards and sweated so much, and I wouldn't have gone into the men's restroom and we wouldn't have had sex there either."

"I think it's safe to say."

"I guess that if we'd never...well, I guess now neither of us would be very happy..."

Jackson huffed. He wasn't entirely sure of that, "I don't know about that April. I think we might have found our way to each other in the end."

"I didn't stand a chance with you, Jackson. I knew I didn't. If I hadn't have thrown myself at you, can you honestly say you would have noticed me?"

"I always noticed you," he countered. "And I'll admit, I probably would have taken a million years to finally really understand why, but I still think it would have happened. It's just a good thing you were very forward."

"That's nice."

"Me and you...you know, I just think we are supposed to be together."

"Hey," April teased. "I thought I was the only one of us who believed in things like cosmic destiny."

"Cosmic what?"

"That's what you are talking about. You think we are meant to be right? No matter how things work out?"

"Yes," Jackson laughed, reaching out to tickle her and teasing about one of the ridiculous childhood dream weddings she'd told him about. "We are 'mint to be'!"

"Stop!" April screeched in a harsh whisper. She was incredibly ticklish and Jackson knew it.

He laughed and captured her lips in a soft kiss, "Call it cosmic destiny then. That's just us. 'Mint to be'. Peppermint flavor, of course."

"Not spearmint," April smirked, holding back her giggles.

"Never spearmint."

Jackson sighed. His life was everything and more than what he ever wanted. So, while he'd never admit to believing in all that fluffy destiny mumbo jumbo stuff to anyone other than his wife, he had to admit he at least believed in it in so far as it explained his love. The right person had come into his life, and been there at the right time. Once he'd scoffed at the idea of soulmates. Mathematically the idea that there was just one person out there for everyone had seemed so limited. Ludicrous even.

But April had changed his mind.

 


	10. Chapter 10

_On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Ten lords a leaping,_

_Nine ladies dancing,_

_Eight maids a milking,_

_Seven swans a swimming,_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_Two turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

April smiled and sipped casually at her wine, as she sat swaying gently on the couch in Callie and Arizona's home. The unspoken traditional pre-christmas festivities at Callie and Arizona's place. The trendy house was decked out in holly and muted lights and there was plenty of finger food laid out on the counter tops and tables for the steady flow of guests. Muted music mixed in with the vague noise of everyone's speech.

Friends and family members from all departments of the hospital were present. Derek, Lisa, and Chief Bailey stood in one corner conversing quietly. Meredith was with Callie in the kitchen, and Alex and Arizona seemed to be engaged in some sort of argument on the other side of the living room. Other guests milled around with wine and food and little kids darted around.

The wine left April comfortably warm as Jackson smirked and sat next to her, nursing his own glass of wine. This was the best way to end what had been a hectic day in the ER for her. All the tension she'd felt from dealing with the aftermath of car accidents, and accidental tree fires, and...other things she couldn't quite remember, had long since washed away in the company of her friends.

She'd wanted to skip the whole thing, but Jackson had convinced her to go. April was glad to be here. She blinked slowly, and leaned her head on Jackson's shoulder.

"This was a good idea," she said, tapping his chest lightly. "Yup. Mhmmm..."

"If you say so."

Tucker was back from his last year at UNM, Zola was back from NYU, and Sofia was back from UCSB. It was the first time they'd been all back in Seattle at the same time, and it was clear that the three oldest of the kids were eager to see each other and share stories of their lives on campus. They sat huddled together in a group across from Jackson and April.

April tilted her head to onside and listened closely to the music that quietly played through the house.  _So This is Christmas_. John Lennon, one of her favorites, though listening to it now, it was like hearing it in a whole different way. _  
_

"You know," she said seriously, pointing her finger awkwardly in midair. "Yoko Ono can't sing."

"What?" Jackson was puzzled.

"The song. She can't sing. I don't know how they didn't notice."

"I never really noticed."

"That Jackman," April swayed and grinned. "Is because you are tone deaf. T-one. Deaf-fff."

Conner, Mei, and Megan clustered nearby, just close enough to hear their older friends, but the three medium aged kids were clearly a little awestruck of the collegiate three. They kept furtively glancing over at the older teens, only to look away when they're gaze was noticed.

Riley, never one to miss an opportunity to read, had found a spot set apart from everyone else at the party, near to Callie and Arizona's Christmas tree. She was totally engrossed in a book, and her eyes only occasionally appeared over the top of her book to survey the crowd.

April sighed and fingered the bottom of her wine glass, feeling a huge surge of affection for all the people in the room. Family came in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes she forgot just how lucky she was to have not only her biological family, but also to have found this group of people as well. Even though she didn't have her parents with her on earth for the holiday this year, April still felt loved and cared for.

Her Dad always said that when doors close, windows open. Or was that when windows close doors open?

Doors and windows doing something and togetherness. And...yeah.

Pausing in her movements, April squinted. This should probably be her only and last glass of wine. She felt like it had gone straight to her head.

Jackson nudged her shoulder playfully, murmuring in her ear, "You're a little drunk aren't you?"

"No," April shook her head, lamely. "No, no, no, no."

"Right," he nodded, holding back a laugh. She'd never been great at holding her alcohol, and that quality had only gotten worse in time because she drank less after becoming a parent.

"I am not. I'm close, but that's all the wine I am going to have," April said, nodding firmly. "No more glasses. None. No glasses. I'm cutting myself off."

She could tell that he didn't believe her so she made a vigorous slashing motion with her hand, "Off...off."

The motion didn't have the desired effect, and April realized that she had almost spilled her drink all over Arizona's rug.

Jackson chuckled, and looked at her with those twinklingly beautiful eyes of his, "You're a little tipsy."

April giggled, "Maybe a little."

"That's okay," he whispered, with each breath puffing air against her ear. "I don't mind. I'm glad you are having fun."

"I hope no one can tell," April continued, feeling suddenly embarrassed. She didn't want her children to think she was wasted. Or worse, and alcoholic. Not that she was either, it was just... "The kids will-"

"You're fine. It's a holiday party," Jackson comforted. "Everyone is supposed to be jolly. I'd say right now, you are freakin' jolly."

April hung her head and moaned, "Oh god. When did I become the one drink wonder?"

"Intern year?"

Jackson sputtered as April slapped his head, "I'm being serious!"

"So am I. Don't worry, the kids aren't even paying attention to you, see? It's fine."

"I guess."

He nudged her shoulder, "Just don't go dancing on any couches..."

"Hush."

 


	11. Chapter 11

_On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Eleven pipers piping,_

_Ten lords a leaping,_

_Nine ladies dancing,_

_Eight maids a milking,_

_Seven swans a swimming,_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_Two turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

Jackson sighed and shifted in his sleep, rolling to one side. He felt perfectly comfortable. At ease, and relaxed. Beside him, April curled her body and breathed deeply. They'd stayed up after the little kids bedtimes and craftily places their Santa gifts under the tree. They had dragged all the kids to church for the nativity pageant and watched  _It's a Wonderful Life_  as a family before carting everyone off to bed.

The bed was warm and comfortable and had the best possible company. As a younger man, Jackson would once have scoffed at the idea of being tired before midnight. Not when his life had been all night study cramming, followed by forty-eight hour shift, and then seemingly endless nights on call. But now, he knew he was an older man. A different one. So he was happy to be in bed on the early side.

And in his defense, or a day off, things had been pretty action packed, and Jackson was more than happy to enjoy his sleep. Except for the persistent bumping feeling on the edge of the bed. He shifted and pulled April close trying to ignore the incessant movement. Unfortunately, it wasn't stopping.

Jackson moaned and cracked open one eye. He might have known.

"Daddy? Is it Christmas day yet?" Simon's loud whisper came from the edge of the bed, where he stood bouncing his body against the edge. "Can we go open presents?"

Still confused and half asleep, Jackson could only blearily turn to his bed side clock. 11:45pm. Not quite. He understood children's anticipation for Christmas morning. He really did. His older three children had all been early risers for the occasion at Simon's age. But his youngest son took it to a whole new level, waking up even before it was actually the right day.

"No bud," Jackson mumbled, fighting back a yawn. "It's still Christmas Eve."

Simon frowned and hung his head. He whispered, "It takes forever."

April snorted and turned over, making both Jackson and his son freeze, wide eyed. When she didn't wake up, Jackson scooted over and patted the space between him and his wife.

He waited for the boy to clamor up on to the bed before he continued softly, "It would come a lot faster if you stayed asleep."

"I can't sleep," Simon replied, frowning seriously, resting his head on Jackson's shoulder.

Jackson opened his mouth, but his words dissolved into a yawn before he could continue. In the dim room, he let his gaze shift over to his still sleeping wife. He probably could remain silent and let Simon and himself drift off to sleep, without running anymore risk of waking up April with their continued whispering. He thought Simon was drowsy enough, and he sure as hell was. But at the same time, as Jackson didn't want to leave his son hanging. As a father, he felt like he owed it to his son to find out why he couldn't sleep. If a child was having trouble sleeping, it was a Dad's duty to help.

"Why not?" Jackson whispered. "Bad dreams?"

"No."

"Too excited to sleep?"

"Kind of of, but mostly I just have too much thoughts to sleep."

"I see," Jackson mumbled, keeping his voice as soft as possible. "What kind of thoughts?"

"Wondering thoughts..." Simon mumbled into Jackson's shoulder. "I can't figure stuff out..."

"What stuff?"

Behind his son's shoulders, Jackson watched his wife's eyes flutter open. So much for being quiet. April blinked around in confusion, realizing that there was a little boy in the bed with them. When Jackson caught her gaze, He held his finger to his lips, letting Simon continue his musings. April nodded and listened intently.

"Like...if Santa is real, how does he get everywhere? The whole world is a very big place, Daddy."

April's shoulders shook in silent giggles and Jackson bit his lip to keep from laughing, "That's true."

"Member how many lights we saw in the plane and we saw Seattle? Even if he only goes to houses with a kid, it'd still take  _forever_. So how does he? A time machine? Or...like...like a thing that let's him go super super fast?"

"Maybe."

His reply was tentative because he wasn't sure how Simon's little mind was working. Children all reached an age when they finally began to use logic to see the 'truth' of Santa. When they realized magic didn't exist and that there was no way that any one single man could travel to the house of every child in the world. Conner and Riley had gone through it all. Only they had been 9 and 8 respectively. If Simon was figuring the whole deal out now, Jackson realized it could get tricky because Hannah still believed.

"It could be like hummingbird wings," April interjected quietly, surprising Simon. The boy's eyes rolled up and his twisted around to face his mother. "They move really  _really_ fast."

"Yeah," Jackson whispered.

Simon didn't seem satisfied, as he fidgeted with the and looked at the ceiling, "Or..."

April smiled wearily at Jackson. Obviously, the chance of quickly dosing off again was diminishing the longer this little conversation would continue. Maybe he should have just let it drop.

"Or, I was thinking...is there more than one Santa?" the boy continued hopefully, kicking his cold feet around under the covers and hitting both of his parents legs with what felt like tiny ice blocks. "Like for different places? Like mall Santa's?"

Jackson asked, "A regional Santa network."

"Uh huh," Simon nodded, turning over again. The covers were getting all tangled in the middle. April's pajama clad legs were already exposed and Jackson could feel a chill running down his back. The kid was a total blanket hog.

"Is that what's been keeping you awake?" April reached out from behind Simon and pulled the little boy to her chest, stilling his movements, and allowing Jackson to readjust the covers so that no one got left in the cold.

"Well, I was just thinking...if there is more than one Santa...maybe...maybe I could be the Seattle Santa when I get big enough?"

Simon pushed the side of his face in the pillow shyly. Jackson tickled the boy's chin, "You want to be a Santa Claus when you grow up?"

"Maybe...kinda...I mean, I don't wanna get locked in to something...

April wrinkled her nose and shook her head, "No, of course not."

"I could still be anything. I could be a teacher, or...or a zoo keeper...or a doctor...or a garbage man..."

"You can be whatever you want, buddy," April beamed. "After you go to college. Even Santa Claus."

"Okay..." Simon whispered, rubbing his eyes and fighting back a yawn. "There just lots of things to do!"

Jackson nodded in agreement, feeling immensely happy. This was what he'd never had as a kid. He'd never seen the world as wide open and full of possibilities. He'd always seen it as an Avery. And as a disappointing Avery at that. His father and grandfather had written him off when he was Simon's age as nothing more than pretty. Just a pretty face. In no way capable of amounting to much in the medical world.

But April's family had been the opposite. They hadn't had much on the Kepner farm, but Jackson knew that growing up there, April and her sisters could imagine any future for themselves. And it was attainable, at least in the sense that if they had the smarts to get there, they could shoot for their dreams with the support of their parents, rather than their condemnation.

When Jackson took his MCAT, he didn't tell anyone in his family until he aced it. April's parents had eagerly watched the mail for her scores right there along side her. He knew which of those options sounded better. And Jackson was glad that April had helped him realize that there was a better way to be a family.

"You still have time to figure it out, Simon," Jackson said, pulling the blanket closer to Simon's chin. "Let's sleep now."

"Okay," Simon's eyes dropped, and in a few moments the boy was fast asleep.

Jackson lifted his eyes from the sleeping boy's face, meeting April's drowsy gaze. He smiled, and she grinned back. The bedside clock now read 12 am.

"It's Christmas, April," Jackson whispered as quietly as possible.

April grinned and leaned forward, careful not to jostle Simon's sleeping form.

"Merry Christmas, Jackson," she murmured before pressing her lips to his and capturing his mouth in a loving kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

_On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:_

_Twelve drummers drumming,_

_Eleven pipers piping,_

_Ten lords a leaping,_

_Nine ladies dancing,_

_Eight maids a milking,_

_Seven swans a swimming,_

_Six geese a laying,_

_Five golden rings,_

_Four calling birds,_

_Three French hens,_

_Two turtle doves,_

_and a partridge in a pear tree._

Fidgeting with the wrapping paper on her own gift, April nervously bit her lower lip as she watched Jackson eagerly unwrap her gift to him.

The Nike's. The newest pair, released in November as a matter of fact. Shoes which she had spent the last week trying to replace with a better more meaningful gift. One that she couldn't actually think of. So shoes it was. April was mostly okay with continuing her traditional gift for Jackson. She wasn't a very inspired wife, so it turns out. And maybe she wasn't as sentimental as she thought she was. Go figure.

And her conversation with Catherine Avery had made her feel much more comfortable about not finding a different gift for Jackson, April still felt disappointment in herself. Just because they'd made it through 15 years together, it didn't mean that Jackson didn't deserve a little spontaneity and surprise in their marriage. She'd just never been good at all of that.

The morning gift giving had commenced at 8 am, after Simon and Hannah had run through the house screeching for everyone else to get up. After some grumbling, and tempting with April's delightful holiday twist on morning oatmeal the whole family had managed to assemble down stairs and had commenced opening presents.

Now, that they'd all opened their own presents, the kids were only very loosely engaged with what was going on with their parents. Riley was curled up in the biggest living room chair, pouring over a brand new book, Conner was engrossed in properly learning the ropes on the video game he'd unwrapped. Hannah and Simon were on the far side of the living room playing a weird sort of godzilla meets freeway game with her new American Girl and his super racer hotwheels.

Trash was still strewn around the Christmas tree, and that seemed to be of no great consequence to anyone in the family except for April and Zootsuit the cat. She was itching to clean it up, but Zooty was having far too much fun running and pouncing through the used wrapping paper. She sniffed and scratched her neck.

Jackson was taking an amazingly long time to open his gift. And why wouldn't he? He knew what it was going to be. No reason for him to be super enthusiastic to open yet another pair shoes. Still it was agonizing. So much so that April was tuned out to everything but her own nerves and self disappointment.

"April?"

She could tell by the tone of his voice that it wasn't the first time Jackson had spoken her name. The raised eyebrows, inquisitive expression, and wrinkled forehead her husband displayed also seemed to indicate that this wasn't the second time either.

Sucking in a deep breath, April plastered on a grin, "Hmm?"

"Uh, aren't you going to open your gift?"

"What? Oh...yes. Yes, of course. I just...I'll watch you open yours first."

April looked at the still wrapped gift sheepishly. She'd been so concerned with Jackson and her worries that she'd totally forgotten to concentrate. She should be enjoying her own gift too.

Jackson eyed her with a mock suspicion, "What's the big deal?"

He shook the box in his hands and listened to the side of it, "Sounds very Nike like. Feels very shoe box like. Are you trying to trick me?"

April sighed. He knew exactly what he was getting because she was as boring and unoriginal as she could possibly be. Even after days of wracking her brain, she'd been unable to come up with a different gift.

Laughing uncomfortably, April shook her head, "No...no. I don't think I could."

She watched intently as Jackson eagerly finished tearing off the wrapping paper on his gift. Tossing the crumpled thing aside, he looked down at the shoe box with an almost giddy sort of grin that surprised April. Well, he had that look every year, she supposed. If she really thought about it. The surprise was that he continued to have it.

"Yes!" Jackson breathed, carefully using his plastic surgeons hands to slide the lid off the top of the shoe box, moving with the same precision he would in surgery. "Air Jordan 30's. Look at the flaps...nice"

He pulled the sneakers out one at a time, holding them up to show off. April frowned. All Jackson received was a half interested mumble from Riley over the top of her book, as the other three kids were all too engrossed with their new stuff to respond. But April didn't chastise them. she was too concerned with her husband's reaction to his gift. Surely he wasn't really excited.

"You really like them?"

"Uh, yeah."

She crossed her arms, "Jackson!"

"What?" he continued, examining the shoes. "These are great! I needed new ones."

April shook her head in exasperation, "You can't really be this excited."

"I can't?"

"It's shoes. I can't think of anything new. I have given you shoes for 15 years!"

"I know," Jackson chuckled. "I like it."

"Really? You do?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

April bit her lip and stared down at her own gift from Jackson in her hands, "You...you don't hate that I am predicable do you?"

Jackson laughed and tossed a clump of wadded paper in her direction, "No."

"I'm so boring."

"I'd call it stable."

April tilted her head to one side, still disbelieving, "Callie got Arizona a cruise! I got you shoes. No surprise."

Jackson rolled his eyes, and scooted closer to her side on the couch, slipping one arm around her shoulders, "Don't worry about it. I want you to open mine."

Sighing deeply, and trying to shake her guilt and flutters of inadequacy off, April carefully unwrapped the small box from Jackson. She pulled open the folds of paper and squinted down on the box in front of her, surprised at the contents. Based on the size and shape of the box, April had expected jewelry. It wouldn't be the first time Jackson had given her such a gift. Her guess that it was something expensive and fancy had made her feel even guiltier with Nike gift part 15.

This gift however, was neither fancy nor expensive. It was adorable. And a surprise.

"Jackson!" April squealed, opening the small box and pulling out the tiny figurine's inside. "This is so cute!I love them. They're pigs."

Jackson looked smug and shrugged his shoulders, "A wise man once told me that pigs were cool."

"It's perfect," she continued, taking a closer look at the carved pig manger. "We can put this on the mantle above the stockings next year. Thank you!"

"I aim to please." Jackson's grip tightened around her shoulders, and he kissed her cheek. He lowered his voice and whispered, "You do surprise me, April. The whole reason we have any of this is because you surprised me. You surprise when if counts."

April flushed at the feeling of his warm breaths against her ear and the way he ran one hand her legs as he whispered. He really didn't mind. He'd never minded about her craziness or her worrying or her body issues, or her family or her insecurities or any of it. She turned to kiss him deeply.

"Have I told you today that I love you?"

"Yes," Jackson said, pushing his forehead to hers. "But I am open to hearing it again."

"I love you.'

"Mom? Dad? Seriously?" Conner's uncomfortable voice interrupted.

Riley looked up from her book, "Get a room."

April's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Oh," Jackson joked. "Of course now you all decide to pay attention."

"It's hard not to," Riley wrinkled her nose.

Conner nodded, and April had to laugh, "We don't need to see any of that."

"Well, you all are here in this world in no small part because of stuff like that..."

"Dad!"

April smacked Jackson's stomach.

"It's the truth. What can I say?"

Riley and Conner were horrified, Hannah and Simon giggled, and April couldn't help but join. Christmas really was her favorite holiday. She loved spending it with her family. And having _this_ family to spend it with.

Life was good. Predictable or not.


End file.
